siongyu

2011-02-09T20:25:00.001+08:00

happie cny everybody.
it has been a long tyme since i post.
hahahas.
too many things happened nowadays.
sad and happy.
catch up with you all soon. (:

2011-01-02T00:34:00.003+08:00

hellos.
ive come tuhx blog aqains.
hahahs.
last few days was fucking fucking suay.
saw two ex. omg.
saw one at fareast and another one at bedok.
like _l_.
lols.
okkiies.
guess where am i now?
at grandlink. like aqains?
lols.
ive decided tuhx move on and qo with another guy.
lols.
i love my baby.
lols.
can some1 tell me what tuhx buy on 23jan and 27 jan?
lols. one is my second month anni and another one is my bi bi bdae.
lols.
ive decided what tuhx buy le.
dun worry i wun buy so ex present fer another guy agains.
lols.
wish me luck,
starting tuhx work full on next week le.
siaox liaos.
god bless me.
lols.
and 10jan. o levels results!!
wish me luck. god bless me.
lols.
im qoinq tuhx loyang dua bei gong bai bai le. lols.

2010-12-12T23:39:00.002+08:00

yoyoyoyoyoyo. (:
im now at grandlink. (:
so sry guys. my hse keyboard spoil le. awwws.
i got so many things tuhx say.
recently, i dunno what am i doing.
so many things are coming.
i feel that im just a fucked up person.
perhaps im just doing all the things that HE had done tuhx me in de past.
perhaps im just trying tuhx find someone tuhx substitute hym.
knowing that HE doesnt even care, and he has move on with another gal.
i thought i had completely given up on hym.
i thought i had move on.
i thought im really happy now with my life.
but when i heard the news that HE has a new gf, my heart just hurt so much.
tears just flow down frm my cheeks so uncontrollably.
everything that happened in the past just flashed thru my mind like a movie.
when i heard that HE treat that gal differently like how HE treated me, my heart just sank.
i finally realised, im just a tool tuhx revenge his ex.
im just nobody.
i finally realised, he doesnt even love me in de past.
everything was just a lie.
fucking lie.
i finally starts tuhx see things more clearly and clearly.
perhaps, i couldnt accept the facts, that's whie my heart hurts.
everything........just break thru my soul and tear me into million of pieces.
how i wish.....i never take the step in de first place at all.
it was all my fcuking fault tuhx take the first step tuhs love him.
im tired of life.
whie you treat all your other ex and gals so fucking nice, cept me.
am i not gud enuf.
why?
fuck.
i still rmb you said that 'WE WILL NOT LEAVE EACH OTHER.'
you are just another heart breaker.
me: 'bi,你要跟我走多远？'
you: "你要走多远，我就陪你走多远。'
hahahas. what a joke.
i didnt owe you anything.
but you owe me everything.
& i swear i wun cry fer you ever aqains.

为什么我要踏出那一步。
如果我没有踏出那一步就好。
我对你不再有爱，只有失望。
你曾经是我的未来，我的生命，我的一切。
一切都是因我而起。

2010-11-03T02:37:00.004+08:00

yoyo.

okkies. im single.

everyting ended wid a hurtful sentence frm hym. LOL

so yahs.

wo bei pao qi le.

but so what?

if one day......

you ever come back.

i will still choose tuhx be wid you.

cos im always tiongxim.

2010-10-24T02:55:00.005+08:00

so many things had happened nowadays.
heart break. tears drop. disappointment. so many.
i dun even know my status right now.
yes, it's my fault in the first place.
i hurt you.
but you hurt me too.
whu cares abt me feelings?
no, not you.
give you some time is your last words to me.
i hold on. cos i dun wanna let you qo.
5 months plus relationshp.
so much effort ive put in.
ive done my best and have tried my best.
if you still wanna let qo.
i have nth tuhx say.
whatever that is happening now.
is exactly what happened 3 yrs back.
th moment when junyi decided tuhx let me qo.
irs just the same.
saying that we wun leave each other.
and everything.
is it when i put my heart and soul into a relationshp, all i ever get is hurt hurt and hurt.
i dunno what have i done wrong.
all i ever want is you tuhx be by my side.
love me.
why in de end.
th ending is still the same.
if giving you some time, the ending is that you choose tuhx avoid and leave me alone.
den i really got nth tuhx say.
i still wanna continue this relationshp.
i still love you that much.
i still rmb every single thing we said, every single thing we had done in de past.
if you still can let qo of this relationshp, den where is the love?
please dun tell me you are not not like junyi.
im not comparing.
but the treatment i get is the same.
if you tink im irritating.
yes, im.
but why am i like this?
if i dun care, if i dun give a damn fuck.
i wouldnt make myself so desparate fer your return.
i care abt your feelinhs, i apologise.
but whu cares abt my feelings?
everything is my fault.
but have you ever think abt your part.
if you really love me and cherish this relationshp.
you wouldnt kept quiet when i said izzit you dowan tuhx be wid me anymore.
if you wanna let me feel how hurt you are at that moment when i send you those texts.
thanks. you have succeeded.
i got back double.
thanks fer letting me cant slp well, cant eat well, cant think well.
thanks fer letting me cry over sleepless nights,
thanks. just thanks alot,
one said tuhx me before, he will be with me forever.
one said tuhx me, we will never leave each other.
everything seem so unforgettable.
but when problems arouse, everything seem so untrue.
is this what you call love?
im really waiting fer you.
im not trying tuhx gain sympathy,
i dun care what ppl say abt me or you.
no matter how bad ppl say abt you.
all i want is tuhx hear what yoi say.
only you matters.
you said you will give me back the ring either on sat or sun.
i wait and wait.
nth came frm you.
do you noe how i feels?
i tried my best not tuhx run away.
cos i really wanna sort things out wid you and hope everything goes back like last tyme.
whie you hafta do this tuhx me?

2010-10-17T01:53:00.003+08:00

hellos ppl. (:

im back. hahas.

hmmms. recently things are qoinq quite alrights.

my friends and me are still okayys.

baby and me still quite okaays.

just celebrated our fifth on monday, 11/10.

hahas.

quite happy. we had a fun day aft all.

and yarhs. finally 5 months le.

finally. i cant expect baby is my longest bf. and yups. i love hym ttm. (:

and o levels is coming soon. in a weeks tyme.

chiong arhhs.

everyday memorise at least two compos.

so i will have 14 compos. hahas.

and ya. i MUST pass my eng this tyme.

no matter what man.

if not GG.COM.

hahas.

yeahs.

let's hope god will bless me this tyme.

haahas.

baby. finally we have been tgt fer five months.

i cant say it's short but i also cant say it's long.

but we have finally made it here.

so many things happened all the way.

changes were made, tears have dropped, there're unhappiness and disapponted here and thr.

but we have still made it thru.

i have cherished this r/s more and more.

and i have never regretted being with you.

yeahs. i have a great bf.

thanks fer th anklet baby. my first gift frm you.

i really love it.

im looking forward tuhx our next photo taking.

i wanna change new photos and all. (:

love you.

2010-09-28T23:56:00.002+08:00

sometimes when you know you are not as impt to that person when that person is very impt to you, how would you feel?
sometimes when you know the person doesnt treat you as gud as you treat that person, how would you feel?
sometimes when you know the person doesnt love you a much as you love that person, how would you feel?
sometimes when you are angry or sad all you want is that person to just catch up wid you and hold your hand but that person doesnt, how would you feel?
sometimes when you see that person buy presents fer his friends but not you, how would you feel?
sometimes when you see that person treats his friends better den you, how would you feel?
sometimes when you know that person doesnt treat you as his priority but you did, how would you feel?
sometimes when that person doesnt say the things you wanna hear, how would you feel?
sometimes when you know that person treat th opposite sex like normal, how would you feel?
sometimes when you know that you are not the first thing that person thought abt when he wake up and before he turn in, how would you feel?
sometimes when you are angry or sad, all you want tuhx hear when he meet you is to ask you what happen, but he doesnt, how would you feel?
sometimes when you realised that that person doesnt uds you as much as you uds hym, how would you feel?
sometimes when you know that that person doesnt care and concern fer you as much as you do, how would you feel?
sometimes when you know that you are not the person he love the most but that person is the one you love the most, how would you feel?
sometimes when you know that no matter how much you do, things wun change fer the better, how would you feel?
sometimes when you know that a lot of ppl is liking that person, how would you feel?
sometimes when you know how gud that person treated his ex, how would you feel?
sometimes when you dun even know whether that person really love you and you dun even know whether you are really impt tuhx hym, how would you feel?

the feeling is disappointed and heartpain.
im not trying tuhx compare, but sometimes i just fall flat on de ground.
i guess among all your ex gf, im the last.
this thinking nv change at all from de first day i qo wid you.
i love you, but i dunno what tuhx do tuhx make myself feel loved by you.
im willing tuhx qo anywhere and everywhere wid you, im willing tuhx follow you till old, but i duno what tuhx do tuhx make that come thru.
it's not that im unhappy or stress with you.
im happy wid you, but..................
you know i will nv leave you no matter how sad or disappointed im.
i just wanna know, how impt im tuhx you.

2010-09-15T01:05:00.002+08:00

hellos. here tuhx blog.

awwwwws. sunday i went out wid mikko love!!=DD

qo sing k. hahas.

so happie. sing all the songs i like. hahas.

took lots of pictures. hahas.

awws. i thurs den meet baby worx.

fer de past few days, baby has been very busy wid his test. awws.

worst still, he fall sick.

seeing hym so stress and still sick, and i cant be thr.

feel so lousy, awws.

working and working.

i really hope tuhx see baby soon.

lols. i dunno when can i see all my friends soon.

hahas.

just had tuition earlier on. hahs.

hope tuhx see baby soon. lols.

tml work aqains.

siiannns arhhs.

bye. will update soon. (:

baby. you know you are very impt tuhx me.

2010-09-09T00:32:00.002+08:00

yoyoyo.
im free tuhx blog today.
cos im sick. nbcb.
qo home early frm work.
my lungs problem act up aqains. damn.
i went tuhx see doc den de doc say i flu and block nose that's why lungs was affected.
omg, i nearly cant breathe when im at work today. fucked it.
tml no work. meeting baby!=D
4 days nv meet le. im dying. lols.
i wonder how can i survive if i turn single one day. LOL.
jkjk.
i can survive no matter what.
i will survive.
hahas. at most like what jj said, work slp work slp work slp. lols.
ytd meet up wid charlene, yvette, jj and ting hao.
smth cropped up half way.
haiishx. dun talked abt it. overall de meet up is fun.
we had dirty talks, play cards and all. catch up and everything. lols.
it great tuhx see my frens tgt aqains.
cpl patching up and all. hahas.
i wanna break and patch also cannot. LOL.
joking, it will nv happen. hahas.
hope tuhx see my frens aqains.
really miss them.
didnt have much tyme fer them.
but only one bloody guy dun have tyme fer me. MR RAO WEI YANG. knns.
lols. always wanna meet hym but cannot. fucked up. lols.
qort so manyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy things tuhx tell hym sial.
when den can meet hym. miss hym de most sial. whie liddat de. angry lehsssssssss.
lols.
alright i will stop here okayys.
tml i will take me and baby pictures frm his phone and upload tuhx fb and post here.
wait fer meeeeeeeeeeeee.
bye. ciaos.

baby.
im sorry. i let you suffer a heartache ytd.
sometimes i wonder, am i really a gud gf.
seriously. though i love you but i just feel that you are suffering a lot being wid me.
i gort thoughts of leaving you, not becos i dun love you anymore butttt.....
i just hate tuhx see you cry at times becos of me.
it hurts me.
i feel that im not enuf fer you. wo pei bu shang ni. zhen de zhen de.
you said, when a person wanna leave someone tuhx make that someone happie means that person dun love that someone as much as before.
but th truth is im not. i really love you.
but i wish tuhx see you happie.
i feel that im a failure.
only you can give me happiness but i cant.
i dun even know if you are truely happy when you are with me, i only know im happy when im wid you.
isnt it funny?
i feel that im a failure.
but i cant bear tuhx leave you.
cos you have alr become a part of me.
i feel that i cant make you happie at all.
when i know you are sad or angry, i tried tuhx make you happy, but i failed.
when i see you telling your frens, they nv fail tuhx make you smile, i feel so useless.
i dunno which part of me is gud.
i feel like qoinq further frm you, but i cant.
i feel like controlling my love, but i cant.
i tried tuhx control my thoughts, i cant.
i feel that im not as gud as your fren.
seriously i cant throw away gf this status.
wo bu pei. zhen de.
i feel like keeping back my feelings.
i really dunno what i can do.
i scared you will be like J****.
leave me behind just like that.
haiishx.
teach me. what shud i do.
failure siongyu.

2010-08-25T03:16:00.002+08:00

hellos. (:
okkies, im super fine alr. hahas.
sorry arhs previous post abit sot sot.
cos i think i qoinq tuhx lai ang, tend tuhx think a lot when nth is qoinq on.
lols. now i finally okayys le.
awwwwwwwwwwwwws, baby birthday is coming soon. monday!!!!
whr tuhx bring hym lehs.
have been doing research by asking ppl.
hmmms, i also dunno where tuhx bring hym sial.
lols.
die le. LOL.
hmmm. today qo get baby watch. hehes.
i will help baby wear on his bdae.
lols, finally save up that amount of money tuhx buy de watch fer baby.
feel honoured. tytytytytytyty.
LOL. hope baby will love it, brought de watch that he chose. (:
awwwwwwws, this whole not working until fri.
fri and sat qoinq in malaysia.
i will miss baby a lot a lot.
i will be meeting hym on fri afternoon or morning.
must see hym before qoinq tuhx malaysia.
i miss all my frens. hope tuhx see dem soon. reallllllyyyyyyyyyy soon.
alright gtg.
tml meeting baby. LOL
nights ppl.

dearest baby, you know how much i love you.
i really cherish our relationship.
leaving you is de last last last i wanna do in my whole life.
i nv had this feeling when im with any of my ex bf.
im scared tuhx lose you. that's whie when i saw your ex on de street when im with you,
i feel insecure, i feel sad, i feel down, i feel angry, mixture of feelings.
im scared you will leave me fer other gals just like you left your ex fer another gal.
i admit im not that gud compare tuhx some of your ex, but i try my best tuhx be a gud gf.
i try my best tuhx give de best i can.
i try my best tuhx make you happy.
i hope you are happy when you are wid me.
although things are so much better now.
i am still afraid that you will leave me.
it's gud that i feel this way, cos im loving you more and you are very hell impt tuhx me.
but it's bad cos sometimes i will tend tuhx think a bit more.
but baby, i only love you and only you.
<3<3<3

2010-08-21T01:31:00.002+08:00

yoyoyo.
finally everything is on de right track now. (:
today went out wid baby. hehes.
watched step up 3.
nice show. im down wid flu at de start. but eventually i recovered.
LOL. ate astons. super happie. (:
finally ate astons. ahahas.
me and baby qo see ring aqains.
LOL. we buying ring on de 11th. ahahas.
finally my wish come true. buying ring. YES.
hahas. baby always never fail tuhx make me laugh.
LOL. i hope me and baby can always be like this.
but pls dun anyhow learn what i say. hahas.

baby, you know my heart really hurts when i saw you cry.
i know it's all fault.
haiishx. i think im really a bad bad gf.
i made a mess in your life.
although now everything is alright, but i know i broke your heart.
it's den i realised, im very very afraid that you may leave me anytime.
i dunno whie my personality is liddat.
i nv had these kinda fear before. i really wanna hold you very tight everytyme i see you. so that my heat will feel at ease that you're still with me.
i dunno what i will be, and how my life will be without.
im getting more and more afraid that any1 can replace me anytyme.
im very sorry that i brought so uch hurt tuhx you.
but all i know is i loveyou very very much tuhx de extend of tinking of you before doing anything.
i cant hardly describe my love fer you.
cos my love fer you is more than words or even actions.
it's at de peak, over what i expected and completely over my limit.
if one day you ever leave me, i cant stop you.
there are many many better gals out thr.
you can always choose.
you are th one that is always pulling me up, but i know im de one that is always pulling you down.
im glad that you still stick wid me aft all de mistakes ive made.
but if one day you ever find a gal that is pulling you up, pls go ahead.
honestly speaking, im still feeling remorseful that you are in troble becos of me.
and im stil cannot get over th promise that ive broke.
though i love you a lot.
i cant bring myself tuhx leave you, becos i love you.
so i can only wait fer th day you leave me.
baby, you are my life. you are th reason whie i live fer tml.
i just.............................................
LOVE YOU.

2010-08-16T02:58:00.004+08:00

hehehehs. WONG SIONG YU LOVE ERIC ZHANG YI.

this photo is taken by baby. he edited de white balance.

nice right? <3

actually qort take a few more but all abit blur so he deleted it.

only left this is clear and nice.

but horczczczc, qort his face no have my face.

we will cfm take aqains next tyme.

hehes.

i just love you so much baby!!

hahahs.

i really really cherish all the moments with you.

i love your smile, your hug, your kiss, your EVERYTHING!! =DD

being with you, i really feel veh contented and extremely happy.

i really feel very bless tuhx have you.

really blessed!!!

i wanna walk wid you fer de rest of my life.

you know i love you a lot and wun leave you.

this you can definitely trust me.

(;

looking forward tuhx meet you aqains mans.

loves loves loves!!!

<3<3<3

2010-08-13T01:19:00.003+08:00

yoyoyo. siongyu pussy is hereeeeeeee. hahahs.
okiies. just tuhx summarise nowadays happening.
nowadays all my besties are having problems.
relationships, money, family. haiishx.
tues i met almost all of dem.
i didnt know all of dem were having problems and im down thr talking happily abt baby and my stuffs.
aiyyyo. den one by one told me their problems.
so i kept quiet.
nv talked abt my stuffs anymore.
i feel so sad. seriously.
seeing all of dem with a down face. =(
haishx.
i really dunno what tuhx say cos it's has been a long tyme since i faced problems.
haiishx.
last tyme they used tuhx cheer me up cos im de only one facing problems.
so now it's my turn.

to TING HAO QIN AI DE:
i know you are hell sad over your family things.
though i nv ask you ab it. charlene told me alr.
aft analysing everything, i think both parties are at fault.
no matter what your mom lose face as well.
parents have th rights tuhx teach their children, some resort tuhx beating.
i know it hurts your pride aft your mom did that thing tuhx you.
but no matter what, your mom is your mom.
i bliv when her hand touch you, her heart is breaking at de same tyme.
my dad also beat me before.
i also hated my dad very much.
but you will nv know when they are crying secretly cos of what they did tuhx you.
you just need tyme tuhx recover frm your emotional hurt.
i know you can do it.
family is de most assets in a person life.
when you have no where tuhx qo and you grt no one tuhx turn tuhx, you can only turn tuhx your family.
you love your mom a lot, i bliv she does the same tuhx you too.
hope you be happy soon. (:

lastly. to ERIC BABY!!!!=DDD
baby, 3months plus le.
so many things have happened.
i cant bliv we have walked so far and we can be so close.
though sometimes your actions hurts me a lot, but i cant deny, i nv hurt you before.
like breaking my promise on de incident regarding bike and sometimes hurting you with my lousy attitude.
you will always talk some funny and lame stuffs tuhx make me laugh when im tired and not talking and not smiling.
ppl always say whie am i so stupid, buying you so many stuffs.
i thought it thru.
i asked myself is it worth it.
but somehow or rather, i bought it despite many objections frm my frens.
it's then i realised, how much you meant tuhx me and how much i love you.
i know you may nv love me as much as i love you and may not treat me as gud as i treat you.
but all i want is not abt lasting long wid you, but having a memorable and lovely moments wid you.
so that even if one day you were tuhx leave me, i wont feel regretful that i didnt do my part as gf and at least th times i have wid you is joyful and worth remembering.
honestly speaking, i gort thoughts of leaving you some time aqo.
but i cant bear tuhx, and i dowan tuhx.
at that point of time, i truely realised, i really love you.
im happy that you accepted me even though i rejected you last tyme.
and im grateful tuhx you, cos you are th one that made me forget abt my past and eventually helps me tuhx fully get over th one i once loved a lot.
and most importantly, letting me tuhx feel what love is all exactly abt.
i finally meet some1 i truefully love aqain aft so long.
and that's none other than you, Eric Zhang Yi.
<3<3<3

2010-08-09T17:13:00.002+08:00

hellos. (:
siongyu is hereeeeeeeeeee. hahahs.
long tyme didnt blog arhs.
cos im very busy.
hmmms. recently i got fungus at my neck and back.
it even spread to my face. =(
i just went to the doc just now.
got medicine and cream.
hehes.
okiies, im rushing.
will get back soon.
i love you baby. <3

2010-08-03T03:22:00.003+08:00

hellos. (:
sorry fer not posting nowadays.
im very busy.
hahas.
nth much actually.
i stop drinking and clubbing alr.
have been working, qoinq out wid baby, recently meet up wid jolene.
aiiyyo, nv qo out wid charlene they all le.
so sad.
haiishx.
things have been qoinq well fer me and baby.
im really happie.
i hope we can be forever like this.
but now my greatest phobia is abt baby qoinq tuhx california soon.
haiishx. im afraid everything will change aft he came back.
i dont wish tuhx lose hym in any way.
god pls help me worx. =(
baby bdae is coming soon also.
im excited.
but before that eng oral is coming soon also.
hafta worry fer oral first.
lols.
i hope i can pass well this time,
qod bless me.!!!

Baby, you know how impt you are tuhx me.
i dunno howa express it.
but i always have the feeling of losing you one day.
pls ease my phobia.
losing you is the last thing i ever wanted in my life.
you gave me th faith of loving some1 aqains.
pls dun crush all my hopes and make me lose confidence agains.
i love you.
Zhang Yi Eric. =D
<3<3<3

2010-06-27T15:44:00.002+08:00

my heart is aching aqains.
i dunno whie. everyday im living wid fear.
th fear of losing you one day.
though im mentally prepared cos ive a feeling that you will leave me one day.
but whie i still pin sucha high hopes and putting all my feelings and heart into this relatioship.
sometimes i wonder, am i doing a lil too mch.
every relationship, i put in so much, in de end, i got so much hurt.
ppl always say you reap what you sow.
but whie i treat de guy i love so much so hell gud, i dun get anything in return.
爱真的需要勇气，来面对流言蜚语。
i guess i must start listening tuhx 习惯就好 aqain.
you are just like de weather.
sometimes so humid, sometimes so cold.
and me, as a human, im qetting sick soon.
gradually, im starting tuhx react tuhx these frequently changed weather.
ppl get sick know?
haishx. 习惯就好吧。这是我唯一能安慰我自己的方式。
bye.

2010-06-23T02:39:00.002+08:00

yoyo.
it has been a long tyme since i update my fucking dead blog.
lols. sorryae.
have been working, slacking wid frens, qoinq out wid my bf.
lols. so veh veh veh busy.
lols.
recently a lot of things happened.
guess all my frens noe abt it.
yeahs. my heart have been veh veh insecure fer de past few days.
i guess it has accumulated tuhx piles and piles of misunderstanding.
so guess two days aqo i broke down in front of my frens.
im sry charlene sister, xeviier darling and swee liang bf.
i cried. spoil everyone mood.
thanks fer being thr fer me.
and most of all, charlene sister fer being by my side on that veh critical moment.
sometimes i kiip convonce myself nth went wrong.
im alright. i can take it, thinking that god is just trying tuhx test my patience and tolerance.
but i guess i cant take it anymore.
im sorry.
in de end, i told hym my heartfelt words.
and everything is solved now.
im so delighted.
met bibi today and everyting seems tuhx qo fine.
and im contented.
though it was just a short meet up but im really veh delighted tuhx see you and im satisfied.
in de past i was nv satisfied.
i kiip demand more.
but now, i dun ask fer much, really.
i just wanna see you and hold you fer a while.
see your smile, and feel de warmth of your hand. it's enuf.
in de past, i keep wanting my ex bf tuhx meet me, im veh demanding,
but now i actually break my record.
i cant imagine, i can wait fer some1 fer 3 hrs.
i can smile when im seriously veh angry,
and no matter how sad, disappointed and furious am i, i cant bear tuhx say tuhx hym, cant bear tuhx tell everything but kiip in my heart.
i guess this is what you call love.
ive truely experienced it myself now.
and i can fully cfm that i love you.
yes i do.
i will try my best tuhx keep this relationship qoinq.
thanks all my frens that were thr fer me.
charlene sister, swee liang bf, xaviier darling, yvette heart, junjie lovelove, alvina banana, kerin jiejie, baolun, guo bao.
thanks.
w/o you all, i think i will be totally lost.
thank qod i ve you all and most importantly ive you.(:
and most importantly is my mom. fer caring fer me.

2010-06-14T00:45:00.003+08:00

if you want th truth, im not alright.
my heart hurts.
my tears just drop uncontrollably.
i feel like jumping down or bang hard on th wall.
im like burnng in hell.
dowan tuhx live, i wanna die.
just let me die.
now now NOW!
fuck.
haishx.

2010-06-05T02:38:00.004+08:00

happy birthday sister!!=D

thanks fer giving eric a fun time wid you all.

and your bdae celebration ultimately great great GREAT!!

hahas, we had so much fun tgt, laughing all de way.

and your cake is super duper nice. hahas.

hope you have fun and enjoy wid us.

thanks fer de meal. (:

overall, de celebration is awesome. all i can say. hahas.(:

be happie always and hope your bdae wishes come thru. (:

2010-05-29T02:11:00.002+08:00

yoyoyoyoyoyoyo!
long tyme since i blog ehhhs!!=D
sorry ahs.
veh lazy nowadays.
working and working.
meeting frens cept my baby. haiishx.
so sad right?
lols. but nvm cos in a few hrs frm now, im meeting hym. aft 9 days of not meeting hym!!
<3<3<3
i cant wait. i cant slp. hohos.
2nd june is a grand gathering day. hehes.
im bringing baby qo too. hehes.
cant wait also.
i hope EVERYONE can come.
seriously.
i wanna see ALL OF US TOGETHER AS ONE.
lols.
im very happie.
th weather nowadays is fucking hell humid.
lols. nowadays frens come and find me at my shop. so happie.
char, xavier and sweel liang.
lols. and im veh happie wid my life now.
lols. so much fun, plus i qort baby. oh my. that's like perfect?
lols. still short of studies. hehss.
this yr eng o levels okay jiu perf le. god bless me.
god like!!
it's th first tyme im looking forward tux de future so so much.
it's either all or nth baby.(:

2010-05-21T02:54:00.027+08:00

hqppy bdae tuhx meeeeeeeeeeee!!=DD

thanks all of my frens who wished me.

hahas.

though some of dem didnt turn up, but im still grateful that they still wished me.

omg, super shagg. my new bill. $104.80. mother fucker!!!

#@$@^#$

cb. shagg.

dunno howa tell my mom.

i really have a beautiful and wonderful bdae this yr.

able tuhx celebrate wid my beloved frens and most importantly my bibi.(:

hahas, and able tuhx eat my mom home made cook mee sua!!=D

and my mom gave me money, thanks a lot mom!!=D

seriously veh happie la!!=DD

hope next yr will be de same.

den will have a great full frens gathering!!=DD

anw, we are most prolly having a great gathering, before darrall tao eh qo in ns. (:

sure talk cock and all. hahas.

thanks a lot.

hahas.

happie 17th bdae tuhx wong siong yu.

hahas.

<3<3<3<3

baby, thanks fer giving me one more chance tuhx get you back.
im really grateful tuhx god.
im glad that our fate still avent ends.
though we didnt celebrate my bdae alone, but being able tuhx see you, im
contented alr.
though you didnt give me anything.
but th meal is enuf.
lols.
im really happie tuhx see you.
lols.
i hope this love will be a lifetime.
i will cherish our love even it's a week, a month, a yr or a
lifetime.
as long as im wid you. (:

2010-05-16T03:28:00.003+08:00

post dedicated tuhx charlene sister.(:

sister, i know you are hell angry and fucked up.

i know a lot of things just keep on happening, non stop.

i know these all things make you feel like dying, breaking down.

just tuhx let you know, i will always be thr fer you. promise.

you noe you are also veh precious tuhx me, just like all my grandlink frens.

you all are part of me.

though i didnt know you fer quite long, and i admit i didnt have a veh gud impression fer you in de past.

but slowly, i also found out that you are a veh gud fren.

lols.

not saying i biased and one sided, but all my grandlink frens including you, are my veh veh wonderful frens.

cheer up okayys.

my bdae is coming, smile fer meeeeeeeeee!!=DD

dun be sad alr. hahas.

thank god that ive got you back.
hehes, i love your smile, your cuteness attracted
me.
lols. i hope this is de right choice ive
made.

2010-05-12T03:05:00.002+08:00

lols. nice eh this photos!

char sis take for me ders.

i qo buy shirt fer eric.(:

hahas. tml qo meet char sis and hym alr. hahas.

hope he like it lo. scared sial. hahas.

fucking lost my watch. fucking angry and sad.

brand new watch sial.

cb. wth is qoinq on.

im boiling.

#@$#^$#%#@$#@$#@$#$#$

just take it that ive fucking like th
wrong fucking person in de fucking first place.
i feel so fucking hell furious
now.
dun fucking talk tuhx me frm now
on.
i dun fucking wanna talk tuhx
you.
fucking angry.
im fucking boiling.
im fucking qoinq tuhx explode any
moment.
#$#$^#$^$#^

2010-04-30T01:50:00.002+08:00

hehehs!!

this pic cool eh?

hahas.

outside neverland. lols.

this few weeks decided not tuhx qo down neverland anymore.

lols.

i hope things will turn better. hahas.

life is so boring nowadays.

just meet up wid mikko and wei hua they all.

so funny sial they all.

lols. guess that's was th onli fun time.

lols.

work, do nth.

lols.

fucking shagg.

lols.

hope next week will be beta man!!

hahas.

feel like qoinq tuhx club and dance!!!!!!!

till death.

lols.

finally i hafta put down my high hopes.
i hope ive made th right choice.
back tuhx de past.

2010-04-21T03:42:00.009+08:00

lols.

sorry arhhs. it has been a long tyme since i update my fucking blog.

lols. past few ays kiip chiong and chiong neverland.

hahas. of cos im happie. cos i saw hym.(:

being able tuhx see hym just makes my day. LOL.

but i drunk too much on sunday, had a hangover den monday stiomach pain now sore throat le la!

lols.

i hope i can foever be so happy like now!!=D

will upload more.(:

you nv take my heart but i gave my heart
willingly.
with you, im like sitting in a roller coaster, when you
reply me, it like de roller coaster is qoinq up, and my mood will qo up
too.
and when you are so busy at work and didnt reply me, it
like de roller coaster has gone down, and my mood will qo down too.
my heart is really tired sometimes as my mood is qoin
up and down according tuhx de way you treat me.
but neverthless, my feelings towards you didnt fade at
all.
i realised ive fallen fer you since de first day i met
you.
i still like you a lot a lot.
i nv fail tuhx miss you every day, nv fail tuhx think
abt you everyday.
and my thoughts abt knowing you more, wondering which
day i will be able tuhx qo out wid you just nv stop at all.
i really wanna noe you more.
i really wanna get closer tuhx you.
i wanna do so much things.
i just hope i can do all these one day.
im willing tuhx take up the challenge of loving you,
though i noe th future path will be veh veh difficult as you will be busy
studying and working.
but im willing tuhx do it.
i swear upon th god wid my right hand on my chest and
left hand to th sky.
i just.......love you.(:

2010-04-15T17:56:00.011+08:00

hehes.

nahs. all de pics. taken at neverland. hohohohohohohohohohs!!

sad case, sebastian is not thr.

but at least, i qort his number, and and.

i noe when is he working!!=DD

called hym, hear his voice and was really happie that he remembered me!!=D

tmr qoinq back tuhx neverland aqains. so happie. lols.

wid charlene sis and sw bf, maybe. (Y)

i really hope he is thr lo. hahas.

den i will delete his number, den take his number aqains tmr. hahas.

hahas.(L)

wish me luck.(:

2010-04-11T23:11:00.003+08:00

lalalas.

im so happie nowadays.

meet up wid sisters on thurs.

bought specs and took retarded photos.

was so fun. hahas.

and fri my first day of work. den i went tuhx neverland pub.

hehehs.

and i saw tone veh handsome guy named sebastian.

im so high, and im qoinq back thr on thurs. lols.

cant wait.=)

wish me luck ehhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhs.(:

2010-04-06T23:49:00.002+08:00

hehehs.

this is mikko love and char sis wid me.(:

hahas. but tuhx myelf aqains.

today qo collect my o levels cert and testimonial wid jolene.

watched clash wid th titans.

lols. eat, chit chat. walk ard.

lols. and thurs qoinq out wid my sisters!!=D

cant wait cant wait!!!!!!!!(:

im back tuhx myself aqains.

lols. no more sadness and pain in my heart alr.

now onli have gastric pain, stomach pain.

haiishx.

im dying.

now eating tyme has canged ever since i stopped working at isetan.

gastric and all sorts of stomach pain occurred every now and den.

lols.

i hoped i can start working soon.

applied fer tuition alr.

every sunday im not free.

lol.

having tuition. lols!

now my life has turned normal.

wid frens, sisters, work, studies.

lols.

no more guys.

no more love.

lols. no more hurt.

no more stress.

best of all, no more pain!!=DD

wong siong yu= happy qo lucky. cheerful and nv say die.

lols.

that's me.

bye.

will upload pics aqains.(:

i decided tuhx walk another path.
i hope i wun turn back aqains.

2010-04-05T03:39:00.002+08:00

lols. i met mikko love today.
lols. bought things frm bugis and im woring on friday.(:
lols. i really got nth tuhx say.
cos my mind is in a swirl.

some1 told me, whatever things i do, i hafta ask myself, 'AM I HAPPY?'
i tot i will be happie if i dun contact you anymore.
actually im not happie.
but if i contact you, i will also not be happie in de end.
i dunno what tuhx do.
i feel like killing myself.
im stupid.
i love you i love you i love you.
how much i wanna say and do. i cant.
i can onli say tuhx myself.
i dunno howa face you when you are angry.
i dunno what tuhx do when you are sad.
tell me.
what tuhx do den i will happie.

2010-03-29T22:43:00.009+08:00

THE RETARD TIMES!!=DD
JOLENE WU AND SIIONGYU. <3 href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_TYCD7U9whrM/S7DEn1ixpCI/AAAAAAAACh4/z59HXmWwd98/s1600/DSC00033.JPG">

lols. sat went out wid jolene.

she qo get her pay and treat me drink. hehes.

den i qo buy shades and she bought a pair of specs.

so happie.

took pics.

had fun.

i qo interview. hoho.

den at night meet ronron dear, xavier darling and ting hao qin ai de, and godzi and darrall tao eh.

aiyo. xaviier did smth which made me see le xin suan and xin tong.

but nvm. lols.

cheer hym up alr.

lols. and today meet up wid wei siang korkor, baolun and guo bao qo sign form fer wed job.

lols. chit chat a lot wid siang kor kor.

lols. and den janson came and we watched when in rome.

nice show. touching and funny movie.

lols. waiting fer clash of th titans.

hehehes.

alright im qoinq tuhx drink ltr at 11.30 and wed wid charlene and ting hao qin ai de.

lols. looking forward.

drink till drunk.

hack care alr.

lols.

nv drunk nv qo back. LOL.

nights ppl.

will upload more pics.

lalals.

ciaos.

im really tired.
seriously.
i look at your sleeping face, i wanna hug you and nv let
qo.
but i just stopped myself.
i know how much you loved her.
i know everything that i hoped and wished fer can nv
happen.
but somehow, i just dunno whie i have forgotten tuhx forget abt
you.
my heart is painful and tired.
i feel that my heart is beating slower everytime.
i lied tuhx myself and tuhx you that i dun like you
anymore.
but actually when i say it, my heart is painful.
its hell fucking painful.
its so pain till i cant breath properly.

2010-03-27T00:41:00.009+08:00

lols. overdued retard photos.

lols. all i wanna say is fuck off.(:

lols. today i qo meet yang yang baobei.(:

he made me wait fer 2 hrs.

but nvm. everytyme i let hym wait now its my turn alr.

lols. his gf ask me say hym, but i didnt.

i seldom scold my close frens.

if i scold means smth wrong alr. lols.

watch confucius. alright movie.(:

chit chat a lot. had fun.

as usual. i drink de water like hell fast.

he bought large but he onli drank two mouths.

i drank de rest in like 1 hr?

lols. and i went toilet twice.

lols. den i saw wei hua.(:

tml meeting hym in de morning. and i will qo meet jolene at noon den qo walk in interview and yang gf shop. lols.

song bo. i qort job. lalalas.

money come first.

next wed working at sci centre wid sing korx they all den i qo drink.

lols. song song song.

drink drank drunk.

lols. qoinq back tuhx my past life alr.

nv drunk cannot qo back!!!!=DD

okkies la. will post tml. lalalalalallalals.

ciaos ppl.(:

days had passed.
jie say it right, whats done cannot be undone.
though i still think a lot as usual.
but what can i do?
thinking cant solve de problem.
i know i know, avoiding cant solve de prob.
i know silence cant solve de fcking problem.
but what fucking esle can i do?
my heart is fucking tired.
blame myself fer falling in love wid de wrong
person.
and now nth can be done.
i chose this way tuhx hurt myself.
i noe its wrong.
but i hafta do it.
my heart is painful.
i wanna cry everything out, but i just cannot force my tears
out.
my heart is drown wid tears.
loneliness is hurtful.
but heart pain is de most most most hurtful!!!!!!
@!$%@&^$

2010-03-26T00:50:00.004+08:00

i miss th old school days.

when everything is perf.

im leading a fucked up life now.

tml im meeting wei yang baobei.

i miss hym so much sial. wanna tell hym so mani things.=(

must chit chat a lot.

lols. i just went tuhx micheal bbq just now.

lols. had fun.

know some new frens.

hahas.

played five ten, drink abit.

hahas. terry is super funny.

and took a lot of pics.

will update soon.

lols.

hopefull next week my ite results will be out.

and i will be getting my pay.

and i will hafta do a lot of things.

planning fer my next haf yr what tuhx do.

lolols. and next yr going tuhx poly lo!!!!!!!!!!=DDD

i miss all my frens.

cant stand it.

i wanna meet all of dem now.

lols. nowadays always wid wei siang korx korx.

lols. had fun. talked a lot.

haiishx. today go find kerin jie jie.

also share a lot of things wid her.

but my heart still hurts sial.

just now qo ecp worst.

qo tuhx de sea thr.

listen tuhx music. woahs. think of a lot of things.

really wanna jump down th sea sial.

kena eat by de fish i think i will feel better.

lols.

bth. hope tml will have funnnnnnnnnnnnn.

lols.

nowadays hell broke.

cant take it.

fuck those guys that beat sl up.

ccb. waste my tyme. and somemore they are quite handsome lo. knn.

watch out.

lols.

alrights will upload some pics soon okayys.(;

ciaos.

say im avoiding i will feel better.
its all just a fucking lie.
im not feeling any better.
talk tuhx my close frens also no cure somehow.
im still so confuse and pain inside.
i dunno what tuhx do.
raining nowdays.
the weather just fully describe de terrible feeling im feeling now.
i wanna qet into de rain and drenched myself.
i feel like getting sick.
nowdays my cough is getting worse.
im getting veh sick due tuhx all th problems which made my lungs feel hell
uneasy.
cant. dun look back.
avoid jiu avoid le.
dun turn back anymore siongyu.
once decided must qo wid it, if not th feelings wun qo away.
dun be soft hearted.
it hurts.
it really hurts.
whie love hurts so much?
fucking hell.

2010-03-25T01:31:00.003+08:00

lols.
i qort nth tuhx post until just now ting hao tag me this photo in fb den feel like posting it in blooger too.(:
just now qo find hym and chit chat a lot.
so much laughter.
i seriously miss th past.
when i first become veh close wid ting hao they all, de whole gang of us were so funny and we had so much fun.
i have no troubles.
peaceful life.
thats was like in sec 3.
haiishx.
now lehhs.
so much problems.
money problems, studies prob, relationship problems.
all at once come.
i just cant tahan all these.

i just cant believe.
aft all ive done fer you, loving you all th way frm sec 2 till now.
you will actually beliv them and avoid me.
fine.
i really regret loving you.
i shud hav lisen tuhx jaime frm de start.
im just too disappointed.
is face and pride so impt.
i dare tuhx say.
im so much better den you.
im a better person den you.
and its you de one that is not compaitible tuhx me.
not me.
just fuck off.
my feelings fer you had turned frm love into hatred.
stop contacting you anymore?
i will and i swear i wun talk tuhx you anymore.

ive say feelings tuhx hym alr.
shit.
i will hafta face
it.
i have tuhx.
i cannot contact hym anymore.
so that my feelings wun
get deeper.
i know i shoudnt love him, im sry but i cant control.
i know
its impossible.
i will get over it.
i cannot love hym.
i cannot spoil
ppl r/s.
i must be a realistic gal.
avoid
is all that i can do now.
i dowan problems tuhx occur.
and i dowan any of
dem tuhx get hurt becos of me.
let me be th wei da person.

2010-03-22T04:03:00.005+08:00

whooohooo.

last day at isetan.(:

lols. i will definitely miss all my colleagues thr!!=D

anw.

ive made a decision between me and hidayat today.

everything is officially over.

im free frm th triangle r/s.

okkies.

tml qoinq temple.

tuhx get a amulet i guess.

protection frm guys and health and everything!!!

ive been thinking and thinking fer th whole day.
why i must always get myself in a triangle r/s.
i cannot love some1 whu has a gf.
no no no!
ive been thinking, have i fallen in love wid hym?
i know its wrong.
i cant steal some1 bf.
no no no.
i shouldnt, cannot and must not fall in love.
he has a gf, he loves his gf. thats it.
i cant do any mistake.
but i did.
i dunno if i love hym anot?
i really fucking hell dunno.
arggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.
fucked up fucked up fucked up!!
its hard.
feelings always come at th wrong tyme. fucking wrong tyme.
whie?!!!!!!!!!!!
i hate myself.
its impossible.
I DONT LOVE HIM.
yes i dun.
he asked me ytd, i said no.
but today my mind started thinking fer th fucking whole day.
i cant concentrate.
i must suppress my feelings, my heart.
i cannot love hym.
yes i CANNOT.
i must be a gud gal.
stop thinking.
STOP THINKING.
i just cant stop thinking!!!!!!!!!
whie.
WONG SIONGYU, WHIE YOU MUST ALWAYS LAND YOURSELF IN SUCHA DESPARATE
STATE!!!
why why why.
i hate love.
I ALWAYS CAUSED PROBLEMS TUHX MYSELF.
IM IN A FUCKED UP MESS.
SCREWED UP.
STOP THINKING.

2010-03-19T23:43:00.010+08:00

3rd edition of jolene and siongyu in de past. must see!! hell funny!!! =DDD

lols. i really cannot tahan la. seeig th past pics of me and jolene.

was sending her de pictures a few weeks aqo. and we were laughing abt it.

so now i post it tuhx make jolene angry. haas. im a baddie. =p

and i post some of de past pics.

awwwwwwws.

i guess ive an ans in my heart alr.

these few days im thinking hell hard.

thinking and thinking.

i think some of my close frens shud noe whu am i refering tuhx aft seeing these pics.

frm the moment i realised that i still cares, i know my heart is qinq tuhx who alr.

and i think i shud not lie tuhx myself anymore.

but now i really have no more courage tuhx do and say alr.

i have a big phoebia aft yw incident.

im scared. hell scared. history will repeat itself.

counting down 2 mor days tuhx my official last day in isetan.

im leaving.

i cant bear tuhx leave isetan siallllllllllll!!!=(
cos i will definitely miss ms mah, wei wei and devi.

haiishx.

how?

aft so long, i still miss you and care fer
you.
i know we both have changed and de pat cant come back
anymore.
but i just dunno whie, my heart still goes back tuhx
you in de end.
i still wanna get back tuhx you.
how?
everybodi tot that ive put down de past between us,
becos i make it seems too.
but dee now, its a diff story.
im just lying tuhx myself all along.

2010-03-16T22:36:00.002+08:00

lalas. my hairband.
hehes. that's my dnd hairband.
lalas. ytd club was fun. lols. quite fun i mean.
i was so hell shy in front of somebody**
lols. i also dnno whie sehhs.
hahas.
was fucking tired.
tml qoinq tuhx siang le.
prepare all de notes le.
lols.
and i steal one mango he plastic bag just fer th notes.
lols. must giv nice nice de tuhx other ppl mahs.
i always giv nice plastic bag.
lols.
th onli thing i feel bad is........
all those notes is not mine, cept some onli.
i threw away all mine.
haiishx. and horxxzxz.
i left some of it but all with that biao kia name.=xxxx
feel so embarrassed, so didnt giv le.
lols. and i bliv shirley notes is beta den mine. lols.
okkies. i just sign my resign form today.
last day is on 21st.
lols.
congrats me yo.

2010-03-15T01:04:00.003+08:00

sleepless nights nowadays.
keep thinking abt stuffs.
i prepared almost
all th notes alr.
dunno if he would appreciate it anot.
i really dowan
tuhx see another person similiar tuhx hym.
my heart seems tuhx feel so
empty.
and i also dunno whie i would feel that way.
i dunno whu i love?
i dunno what tuhx do?
i onli noe. i wanna get back tuhx de past.
tuhx sec 2.
i want everything back tuhx me aqains.
i want th happy
moments back,
i fucking miss th past.
but i cant get back tuhx it
anymore.
i told myself.
i must be strong.
but somehow.
everything is not you want it this way, it will be this way.
do you all
uds?

2010-03-13T01:02:00.003+08:00

haiishx.

i feel so sad when i see th photos.

i hate isetan, whie ms mah must qo?

everything will be so different aft th new manager come.

haiishx. so sad.

th thought of thenew manager coming in just made me wanna quit isetan asap.

lols. everybodi is leaving.

lols. so am i. hahas.

i know i will definitely miss all my frens, colleagues and of cos my old department.

haiishx. but im just tired working.

fucking tired!!!

lols.

i miss all my sistarx alr.

planning fer a kbox singing and celebration fer my bdae.

hehehs.(:

looking forward tuhx it. hahas.

sing till siaox man!!!!!!!!!!!

to SAMANTHA JONG.

hey darling. dont be sad.

i know it's hard tuhx accept th break up and th change.

but what tuhx do?

you must always be strong.

rmb what you told me when yw rejected me.

you asked me uhx be strong.

now it's my turn.

when im sad, your heart breaks.

now you are sad, my heart is also breaking.

no point tuhx cling on impossible things.

i know you love hym alot.

but sometimes you just nida let qo.

if not th one that will suffers is you not hym.

treat yourself beta.

must got pride!!!!=DD

live on baby.

tml will be better.

dont regret in de future when you think of th past.(:

i will always be thr fer you.

♥

sometimes i tell myself.
not tuhx turn back anymore.
and nv cry fer a guy anymore no matter how much you love hym.
i really did it.
though iknow im stupid tuhx love hym so much and do so much things fer hym
in de past.
but i nv regret.
love cant be forced.
lols.
tml i will be qoinq tuhx collect my notes.
lols.
most prolly will pass th notes on sun or mon lo.
lols. actually i also hav no guts tuhx face hym la.
hahas. =x

2010-03-12T00:17:00.005+08:00

lols. today finally see ms mah.

sad sad sad!!!

haiishx. how come nowadays ppl are out of love.

receive calls frm yang yang, xavier and sam.

aiyyo,

i really feel so sad.

i mean like whie ppl nowadays like tuhx hurt the ones that love them.

i mean like cherish your loved ones.

ppl nowadays are so weird.

qort gud things throw.

want bad things.

whie dun keep gud things by your side?

aiyyo.

and i dunno what tuhx do wid dem.

cox i also hav my own fucking probs.

what tuhx do?

they are my besties.

i no choice, advise dem wid my past experience.

they say how they wish they can be like me so open minded and strong.
lols. what tuhx do? you either live or die!

lols. live on man.

lols. dun care.

OKAY. I WANNA MAKE IT CLEAR.

I DUN LOVE Y**W** ALREADY.

I DUNNO WHIE PPL DUN BLIV ME.

AIYYYYOOOO.

AFT SO MUCH THINGS HE HAD DONE TUHX ME, YOU THINK I WILL CONTINUE LOVING HYM?

IM NOT SO STUPID TUHX THAT EXTENT. LOLS.

i think my coughing is killing me.

have been coughing fer months.

and it nev gets better.

and now it qort worse.

when im sad, i will cough and cough.

esp night, i will cough like siaox.

am i dying?

lols.

I dunno what has got into me.
i know i dun love you alr.
but when you talk tuhx me face tuhx face.
i somehow feel so weak.
and tears are going tuhx drop.
when i realised things are getting more complicated,
i choose tuhx back out, i choose tuhx let qo.
but whie,
when i let qo, you will come tuhx me aqains.
i feel im a total failure sometimes.
i cant straight away scold you or dun care you.
i said im stronger den her.
but actually i admitted lose when you speak tuhx me wid
your heartfelt words.
i duno if your words are true anot.
but somehow i dunno what tuhx do also.
i lose.
i lose tuhx my uncontrollable emotions and feelings.
you hugged me, how i wished i'd cried on your shoulder.
but somehow i cant cried.
i guess im just too disappointed wid your actions and
your poor decision making.
what for say your option is me, but when you are wid me,
you cant lose her, when you are wid her, you cant lose me?
you know it's veh hurting.
all gals are selfish.
im selfish.
dont you get it?
i qort no more moo tuhx love you anymore.
just get on wid your life.
im living isetan soon.
hope you can find some1 better.
and i guess, everything is over.
i wun get back tuhx de past anymore.

i hope i can prepare all th notes by sat and get siang tuhx pass tuhx you on either sunday or monday.
i really hope you can get gud results.
i really hope you can turn back tuhx de past.
im really happie you talked tuhx me aqain in msn.
i hope you really knows what you want tuhx do in th future.
i hope you have wake up somehow.
i will be waiting fer that day tuhx come.(:

Hello ciewty

2010-03-10T03:00:00.002+08:00

Hi everyone, this is Joey (:

To ciewty: Hey ciewty! I've done your blogskin. When you see this, msg me alright. I hope you like it. Study hard okay! You will and you can do it. You go girl! \m/

Xoxo

2010-03-10T00:10:00.002+08:00

lols.
some1 said this pic of mine veh nice.
lols.
today i was so sad, ms mah was transferred.
my manager!!!!!!!!!!
and today i got no mood tuhx work.
and out of a sudden.
i qn and ans myself.
lols.
1) how you know *hym.
thru my gud fren in th past.
2) when you and get tgt.
v. day.
3) how long have you 2 been tgt.
3 months plus.
4)what he like tuhx do?
play bball.
5) do you regret qoinq wid hym?
no.
6) do you rmb his bdae?
yes. 10/01.
7) whie you love hym so much?
becos he is th one that let me know what's love.
although he is not my first bf, but he is my first love.
though he is not a perf guy but when he is with me, he really dote on me a lot.
he knows what i want.
and he really tried tuhx be th best fer me.
he is willing tuhx change fer me when we are tgt.
and till now, no one has ever did beta den hym as a boyf.
though now he really change a lot.
but i bliv he is still th ***** deep down in his heart.
and i believe he will change fer a better.

2010-03-09T00:15:00.002+08:00

whie.
you must bluff in everything.
whie?!
i cant bliv, i love you fer fucking 8 mths, with all my heart and soul.
and you bluff me.
i nearly gave you my everything.
whie are you so heartless.
breaking ppl heart, cheating ppl's feelings.
you think its fun?
it's fucking hurting yknow?
you just think everything is over and its a game?
i tell you.
you will get your retribution.
i hate you.
i fucking hate you.
my blood is full of hatred of you.
just fuck off.
i hope you get bang by th fucking car.

aft so long of separation.
we met aqains.
i rmb, two yrs aqo ard this tyme i also saw you aqains.
that few secs of eye contact.
i feel so familiar upon seeing you.
i felt that th tyme has stopped somehow.
you look at me with your stunned eyes.
i still rmb everything that we said, we shared and those memories.
is this fate?
aft so long, our fate still havent end.
i dowan tuhx carry false hope aqains.
but i thought of you nowadays aqains.
whie you reappear in my life aqains.
i to we are separate forever and we are entirely over.
but somehow god let us se each other aqains.
i still care fer you deep down in my heart.
can someone tell me. what tuhx do?

2010-03-05T00:26:00.003+08:00

alright.
his bdae just passed.
i still rmb his bdae.
but just dowan tuhx wish hym.
i dun think there's a niid tuhx do so.
bet he is cfm celebrating wid his frens, gals ard hym.
presents by tons of ppl.
hope everything is fine.
deep down i still wanna say a happie bdae tuhx you.

you said all those tuhx me now.
what th point?
telling me all th things.
saying that you dun feel th right way and
all.
what's de point now?
im alr let qo.
im alr too disappointed.
qo on wid your life.

2010-03-04T00:51:00.004+08:00

i have made a decision.
i know he is waiting fer me tuhx say it.
and ive did it.
a lil heart pain somehow.
no matter what everything is over.
and these few days so fucking suay.
saw 2 ppl which i dowan tuhx see.
like wth~~
shyt sial.
damn it.
seriously i dunno he is th one.
i honestly ha totally forgot how he look like.
th way he stared at me just made me feel weird.
and i kept thinking aft that whu he is?
and thr he is de one.
i kept thnking fer th whole night.
whie i still care.
like fuck.
he has his own life.
i mean c'mon.
we are over fer like 2 yrs?
and now seeing hym aqains, i feel like so strange some how.
and ppl ard me are still talking abt th past.
and me myself is talking abt it too.
fuck sial.
cant bliv i still mb every single shyt thing.
hearing ppl taling abt th life he is leading now,
i just dunno whie, i feel like helping hym.
but i tell myself, c'mon.
he is not th one you know in de past.
he is hopeless now.
no life, only know howa play.
whie shud i care when he dun care ya?
like wtf~~
asdasdasdasd.
this is so cocked up.
i wanna fuck myself.

ANW, WE HAVE WON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
SWEETIE FROM ISETAN KATONG HAVE WON 1ST PROZE FER ISETAN DND.(:
YES MAN.
IM SO HAPPIE TILL I TEARED.
LOLS. CANT BLIV WE HAVE WON.
TOOK TONS OF PICS.
WILL UPLOAD ALL IN FB AND BLOGGER.
I LOVE ISETAN SOMEHOW.
AND I FUCKING HELL LOVE MY DEPARTMENT.
AND ALL MY BELOVED COLLEAGUES IN ISTEAN!!!
♥ ♥ ♥

2010-02-28T01:26:00.002+08:00

today i qo jolene hse bai nian.
whoohoo.
million thanks tuhx her mom and dad.(:
next yr i will open my hse fer bai nian also. hehehs.
den we qo watch parcy jackson and de lightning thief.(:
nice show. parsee jackson is so fucking handsome. hahahahs.
how i wish tuhx have a bf like hym. love his eyes hell muchhhhh. kakaks.
den we qo shop shop.
actually intend tuhx qo temple tuhx pray but guess what th temple close at 4.30 and we reach thr at 5.30. lols.
i wanna get a buddha statue fer myself.
so i wun be so unlucky.
lols.
den we qo buy 2 zimple shirts, took pics. lols.
den qo uni cole tuhx see shirt.
saw some1, erm hmmm.
shoudnt have say anything but i didnt have any reaction.
whateva, hack care.
den horxzxzxzx. i qo prac at tampines changkat cc thr.
hehehs.
im quite prepared alr.
though ytd something veh veh bad happened!!!=(
tml ot!! wtfffff.
haiishx.
and im off on th 4th of march. stupid day.
lols.
i borrowed jolene camera fer mon dnd. lols.(:
and i will drink before th dance. hahahs.
and aft th prac i qo find wei ting at bedok fer a while.
he is still as nice as ever.
lols. treat me drink. lols.(:
den now im home. lalalals.
tml shall be a better day fer me, i hope.(:
ciaos ppl.
will uodate photos in de next post!!!=DD

i didnt expect you will be thr.
say ive alr know you are working thr but i didnt went
thr cos i wanna see you.
u say you are surprised that im still holding grudge
aft so long.
but th truth is im not holding grudge.
if im, i'd have punch you in de face this
afternoon.
but i didnt.
i was shocked whie i didnt slap you or at least give
you a fucked up face or what.
but i realised i didnt have anymore reaction, my heart
didnt beat as fast as last tyme and it doesnt hurts anymore.
you havent changed abit though.
you are still as charming and attractive, but somehow
it doesnt attract me anymore.
i guess de disappointment in me make you aint attactive
tuhx me anymore.
you are a gud guy seriously, you made a gud fren and
all.
but you just dunno howa stand in others shoes and
think.
that makes you a lousy person.
i just dunno whie nowadays guys are so selfish and
fickle minded.
i just gave up understanding guys.
i just dowan tuhx uds and dun uds.
I GIVE UP.

2010-02-25T01:34:00.002+08:00

sometimes its difficult tuhx trust ppl.
i just dunno whie, what wrong have i done.
nobodi knows how it feels inside me.
everywhr i qo, i'd face probs.
it's not that i still hold grudges inside me.
but i just cant forget everything that you have said and done tuhx me.
it seems that i have always made th wrong choices.
and that im always de one at fault.
i just get so fucked up sometimes.
th thought of giving up nv fail tuhx appear in my mind.
i thought i would be more stern but somehow my heart just couldnt help but forget and forgive.
i admit im also selfish.
but who would ever stand in my shoes and think?
who will ever think fer me.
i think there's no point fer me tuhx qo on and everything.

2010-02-21T00:54:00.006+08:00

2nd version.
ANY DIFFERENCE?!!!

NOW.
SEC 2. LOLS.

lols. really la. now qort alot of difference.
last tyme de me and now de me.
lols. time is always ticking, ppl will change.
if you are gonna think that im still de past siiongyu.
c'mon. you are qonna be kidding me.
lols. i change wid tyme!! lols.
im living happily nowdays.
wid my work colleagues.
wid my frens and everything i have.
can my life continue like this forever?
lols. i hope nth will change aft i resign. lols.
those tha chose tuhx leave me, reject me, abandon me pls dun ever come back.
or i will let you have a taste of your own medicine.
lols.
oh oh. im so happie.
i qort a mini poster of my DND.
my grp is in it.
ive a strong feeling my grp will definitely win!!
lols.
let my dream come thru man.
lols. im pok alr.
lols.
alrights. tml have work.
nights ppl.
one more thing.
i miss my peeps!!
lols!
ciaos!!

i dowan you tuhx always acc me.
i just need a bit of
your care and concern.
a text will cure all the loneliness in me.
but
somehow this lil request is too much tuhx ask and too difficult tuhx be done.
but nvm. im still happie wid my life.
i feel satisfied and im satisfied.
i love you baby.

2010-02-17T22:06:00.008+08:00

ANY DIFFERENCE??!!~~~

current jolene and siongyu.

past siongyu and jolene.

BEST BUDDY. 9 YEARS AND COUNTING ON~~(:

KEITHY, HONG ZHI AND SIONGYU.(:

HONG ZHI AND SIONGYU.(:

JUN HUI GAN LAO GONG AND SIONGYU GAN LAO PO.(:

KEITHY AND SIONGYU BUDDY.(:

yoyoyo.

cny is finally over. and im okayys now.

pardon me for my fierce, emo and lousy previous post yahhs.

lols. im completely tired today.

neck pain, back pain and head pain arhhs.=(

ytd qo shawnnn hse and gamble and drink.

gave shawnn his valentine's day present.

anxious abt what i gave hym?(:

onli some of my gud frens noe ehhs.=D

siaox liaos.

lols. i didnt drunk but i was veh happie that day.(:

before finding hym i qo out wid junhui keithy and hongzhi tuhx bugis.

treat junhui eat aijisen as what i had promised hym.

and bought keithy belated bdae present.(:

had fun.

took pics.

hahas. me and keithy alr plan next yr 10 yr anni what tuhx buy le. hahahahas.(:

and me and yang yang ders.

so happie ehhs.

whoo hoooo~~~

dnd is coming.

im s looking forward fer it.

but scared also.=x

first price im coming.

lols. 300 bucks.

hahahs.

15 march zirca.(:

c'mon baby.

im qoinq yo.

lalalas.

bringing xaviier along too i think. (:

sure havoc sial.

alrights.

will update more yahhs.

im qoinq.(:

sleeping le.

**yawns.

im glad, i found de meaning of love aqains.
im elated, cos everything in th past doesnt matter tuhx me anymore.(:
im joyful that ive finally let that person move out of my heart and let
another person move in aqains.
although some amendments still nida be made, but i know it will heal no
sooner later.(:

2010-02-14T23:47:00.003+08:00

sometimes i wonder whie im bor in this world.
with this kind of father, mother, and sister.
ppl always say family is th most impt tuhx you.
but i really doubt so.
i tryna convince myself that i have a wonderful famliy.
wid a great mom, and with my family is whole.
aand that my hse have everything that i need.
and they uds me more than
anyone esle do.
but everything is just a lie and a illusion.
nth seems perfect at
all.
whie am i born into this fucking family.
not rich at all.
and quarels everyday.
i realised im just same as those orphans.
my house is so empty and cold.
nobodi in th hse really uds what i want.
i think im better off on my own.
i just hate this family.
hate my hse and everything.
im drown wuth tears inside my heart.
nobodi knows how fucking hurts inside me.
i thought whenever i have probs i can tell dem.
but all i get is scolding.
i just got nobodi tuhx share.
i just kept everything inside me.
i tryna be perf.
but nth is worth all this shit.
nth can be so wrong.
i wanna die asap.
im broken into pieces.
i tryna love this family but i guess it's not worth it.
fucked up life.
i will nv bliv in family love anymore.
i will nv love anyone anymore.
nth in this world is worth fer my love.
it's not that i lost famliy love, but they didnt make me love them.'
just call me siongyu frm now on.
im not called wong siong yu anymore.

2010-02-11T03:22:00.002+08:00

when a person is in th river of love.
th fear of death doesnt matter anymore.
i dun care if this love is fake or real.
what i want is th happiness.
even if th love is fake, at least im happie before.
what count is th memories.
im in th paradise of love.
i feel so calm and relax.
i could feel th clouds ard me, like im in heaven.
if u really love th person.
never let qo.
or else u will forever live in coldness.
ur sweat wun be warm anymore.
and th food u eat wun not have anymore taste.
till death, u will live wid regrets.
but too bad, some ppl heart is made of steel.
they only noe howa play wid ppl feelings.hurt ppl feelings.
and nv even look back at the things their loved ones did.

2010-02-09T01:59:00.007+08:00

heyhey.

im back peepos.

i love th photos taken by jolene.

shyt sial. she onli update 2 in fb.

still qort a lot more okayys.

we had so much fun and laughter in th toilet!!=D
haiishx. i havent bought my bag and one more pair of shoes man.

im so shagggg.

nowadays working is so tired.

fuck man.

so many last min shoppers fer cny.

i dun even hav time fer my counter.

ive become de packer.

and th queue nv end!!

ive been standing fer straight two days, 8 hrs.

and have been running ard, cos no price tag. haiishx.

tired dao yao si!!

lols.

sunday went tuhx find zhi yun, jaime, sammie.

zhiyun bdae celebration.

had so much fun laaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!

lols. took a lot of pics also. hehehs.

i love all of them. so sad jolene didnt turn up.=(
den went tuhx paya lebar eat pasta mania and mt qiong yue.

lols. hehes. we qort 30% discount. lols.

eat until hell full. so happie.(:

just love all my sistars alot.

next planning is fer my bdae le.(:

yes.

and today i qo find kerin jie jie.(:

qo shop shop at tpy central. lols.

so fun seeing her.

but one thing veh fucked up. i lost 10 bucks!!!!!!!!

knnbccb!

wahlau ehs.

now money veh impt tuhx me noe.

my hard earned money. FUCK.

haiishx.

but nv, i will earn it back.

anw ppl. our dancing grp is in fer dnd!!!!!

whoo hooo~~~~

lols. so happie.

hop we win first price and 300 bucks is mine.

and im qonna treat all my besties.(:

i wanna see dem aqains.

hehes.

jie jie say she will open chalet fer this yr bdae.

so happie. wanna celebrate all her bdae wid her.

okayys la. im qonna turn in now.

will upload photos soon.

ciaos.(:

no matter my choice is correct or wrong,
i dun care what ppl say.
what counts is my feelings.
i will feel and see fer myself.
th feelings of being condemned and talking behind ur back sucks.
who dun have a past.
and th key word is PAST.
lols. what matters now is th present and future.
做人要活得有尊严。
要对得起自己。
我不会再为了别人而活。
我要为了自己而活！！
(:

2010-02-03T03:00:00.007+08:00

yoyoyo.

siiongyu here!!=DD

finally upload some of th pics yahhs.(:

some i will upload next tyme. i uploaded all in fb le.

qo see.(:

haiishx. i miss my five sistarx alot alot!!!!!

#%#&$#%#$#$#%$&

haiishx. dunno they miss me anot.

now all qo separate ways le.

i have not catch things up wid the fer a long tyme.

i qot so much tuhx share wid them know?

tml im meeting jolene up fer my new year shoes and bag.(:
but before that im qoinq isetan fer dance training.

thurs is th audition le!!!=xx

scare scare. =(

hope we win hope we win.

lols.

today i qo meet shawnn aft work.

so long nv see hym le.

he made me ps by saying th chalet first kiss thingy.

lols.

tml meeting hym aqain. lols.

i had so much fun during my work nowadays.

i had wonderful frens.

my weiwei, shafia kaka, and hara kaka.

so much fun man.

chit chat.

lols. and my supervisor had gone fer a holi.

miss her.

so sad tml i ff and she is coming back tml.

lols. miss her man.

lols. gonna catch things up wid her.

and i love my dance grp.(:

lalas. although now my life is kinda boring wid work life but nevertheless i look at th bright side.

money is also impt.

lols. haiishx. valentines day this yr.

guess i have no valentine this yr.

and this will be my 3rd yr no valentine le.

haiishx. fuck.

whateva. take money and qo gamble first.

lols. if the audition on this coming thurs we are chosen, im qoinq tuhx qo club on 11feb.

qo dance and get high so i can prepare for DND.

lols!! must qo shake shake. lols.

and fyi ppl, im in simei ite fer th moment.

till next yr u will see me in poly!!=DD

so work hard siiongyu.(:

byes ppl.

i miss all of you sistarx.
suddenly i miss my sec skol life. whr i can see all of you and chat all th
way.
thanks jaime.
i will be strong.
sometimes you think u have forgotten everything of the sad past.
but out of th sudden, everything will come back bit by bit.
and it just flashed thru ur mind like a movie.
and kept you thinking fer th whole night.
i feel like eating tons of sleeping pills and pull me thru the sleepless
nights.
its getting on my nerves.
i just wanna set myself free.
some memories are just not meant tuhx be remembered and kept.
just like some ppl are just not meant tuhx be tgt.
i must be strong and i need tuhx be strong.
nobody is thr tuhx help me.
the hardest things is not giving up but being able tuhx live wid the
memories.
march is coming, i dunno what shud i do.
shud i buy or not?
whie would i think of buying it?

2010-01-25T00:59:00.002+08:00

hellos my dear ppl!!!!!!!!
lols.
im back man.
lols. im so sick over the past few days.
first sneeze den cough.
and ive been coughing fer the past 1 week.
lols. ytd i couldnt slp fer 1 hr cos i was coughing like hell.
non stop man i tell you.
fuck all this shyt.
lols.
sat my off.
went out wid kelvin.
i was late.=x
and i forgot tuhx bring my wallet.
cant watch de fucking nc 16 movie.
#%^#&$^@
lols. den watch tooth fairy.
quite funneh show. lols.
den we qo turf city tuhx eat steamboat wid his pri skol frens.
had fun chatting wid dem.
lols. know new frens and so on and so forth.
im chosen fer dancing.
and de song is nobody.
wtf.
asked hauyan tuhx teach me le.
hopefully she can get a studio and i will prac wid her.
lols.
scared sial.
if audition okay den i will be dancing wid 4 other gals and DND!!
isetan DND!!
lols. 1000 over ppl at a hotel.
paiseh dao yao si lo.
lols.
die.
hope my cough quickly okay man.
can die.
lols.
i want nobody nobody but you.
lols.
heard until wanna jump down alr.
lols.
will update new photos soon.
cos i change hp le.
bye la.(:

in love, the good will also suffer more the bad.
whie is it like this?
but no matter what all the bad ones will die a terrible death.
fucked dem up.

2010-01-20T01:54:00.004+08:00

today went out wid baobei yang yang.
as usual we watched movie.
chit chat. talked abt a lot of things.
lols. now i realised actually not all gals were conned by guys.
guys can also be conned by gals. just like yang.
lols. we are stupid. lols.
if your heart is soft, you will get cheated.
lols. yang always make me laugh wid his stupid actions. lols.
i also always make hym laugh wid my stupid actions.
and today we made a promise tuhx each other.
lols. yang!! i will rmb our promise.
i will wait fer you arhhs.
beta mark your words.
lols.
oh ya today watch the spy next door.
super nice. not bad.
and two days aqo watch movie wid kelvin.
watch jump.
nice also. funneh show.
lols.
just now qo find kerin jie.
actually wanna share wid her abt my things.
but seeing her so busy and so happie.
i kept inside me.
but aft i left smth happened tuhx her.
lols. guess my next week off i qo find her.
hopefully got a lot of things tuhx share alr.
lols. this whole week morning shift.
song arhhhhhhhhhhhhhs.
lols. and sat off.
i qort a date alr.(:
hopefully everything will qo smoothly this yr.
gotta turn in now.
tatas.(:

life is full of ups and downs.
giving up is easy but able tuhx carry on is difficult.
i know its difficult tuhx carry on aft facing so mani downs in my
life.
but i must carry on.
the past can no longer become the future.
if oneself is forever buried in the past den he or she can nv keep up wid
the life path ahead.
the past may be painful but once u look at a different angle, it is still
as beautiful as what you think it is.
a gud ending will come aft a bad outcome.
everything happened fer a reason.
i just told some1 whom i once loved very deeply that im not gonna wait fer
hym anymore.
maybe he just dowan tuhx settle down like i want t.
im sorry but im moving on without you.
he is the bext ex bf i ever had in my life and i admit ive let hym down in
de past.
now i wanna amend but just too bad, he is not the wh i know in the
past.
i just wanna say, loving you is one of the happiest thing in my
life.
you brought the most wonderful memories tuhx my life.
my life wun be so colourful without you.
i even thought of being tgt wid you fer the rest of my life.
but i guess i just didnt cherish the past when we are tgt.
one mistake i made and we are parted till now.
tried, i have alr tried a lot of times.
but i guess its forever not enuf.
now im letting qo.
maybe im just not the one you are looking fer.
i hope ive made the right choice.
and hopefully you will find some1 beta.
goodbye.

2010-01-18T02:37:00.005+08:00

hellos ppl.
guess everyone mut be wondering what has exactly
happened tuhx me yahs.
recently a lot of unhappiness has happened tuhx
me.
you all must be tempted tuhx noe my o levels results
ya?
lols. 2 As 3 Bs and 2 Es.
my eng and dnt failed.
the blow was quite big tuhx me intially cos i didnt
expect my eng will fail.
and i was in a loss and that point of
tyme.
cried and pulled myself up.
ive decided tuhx qo eng tuition and retake eng end of
tis yr.
but at the same time im qoinq tuhx simei ite tuhx study
fer haf a yr.
you all may say im stupid tuhx qo ite but i just dowan
tuhx laze ard and study onli eng.
i wanna learn smth.
so ive decieded tuhx pick up some skills at the ite and
concentrate on my eng.
and hopefully i will bein a gud poly and with the
course i want next yr.
thanks fer all the ppl that were thr fer
me.
yang yang, keithy, jaime, samantha, jolene, zhi yun, jj
love love, ting hao qin ai de, yvette heart, swee liang bf, kelvin and of
cos kenneth.
and all the teachers that qive me advice.
thanks a lot.
and last but not least my mom!!!
without you all i guess i can nv pull myself
up.
millions of thanks and gratitude.
i will study hard.
at least i didnt let my other subj pull my
down.
secondly of cos is becos of relationship.
ups and downs.
although my heart really hurts a lot but i guess i must
be strong.
sometime the truth are unexpected and disappointed but
i guess you must always accept the truth and live on.
no point clinging on the impossible things which led
tuhx disappointment and pain.
i guess ive grown up.
love is a game.
if you cant afford tuhx lose den dun play with
it.
you must always bear the
consequences.
i shouldnt be so gullible anymore.
ppl always say me, 'why are you always hurt by
guys?'
frankly speaking, i also dunno.
the saying always goes, if there is no hurt, it wont be
called love anymore.
i guess true love always comes with hurt.
love is hurt. hurt is love.
blame on me fer being so naive.
blame on me fer being so tiong xim.
blame on me fer putting all my trust on
you.
blame on me fer falling in love wid you.
now i want nth.
i just want you tuhx stop bothering ever
again.
even if we get the chance tuhx see each other again i
just hope you wun step in my life aqain.
i just dowan tuhx suffer frm another blow.
its too big fer me tuhx take.
im afraid i might just fall flat on my face
aqains.
ive alr done what i shud do by not bothering you so i
hope you would leave me alone.
whatever you wanna do with other gals just
qo.
i beg you, just dun have anything tuhx do with me
anymore.
just take it as you are giving me happiness by leaving
me.
i dowan tuhx lose hope in relationship and lose trust
in guys becos of you.
im not gud enuf fer you.
leave me fer gud, please.
now i really dunno whether i still love you or
hate you.
i noe i shud feel happie fer you becos you are hell happie wid your life now.
but i dunno whie my heart is so hell pain when i noe you are happie and the worst part was knowing your true self.
ive tried tuhx bury myself wid work. kept myself as busy as possible and qo out wid frens as much as possible.
im just so stupid.
im in deep confusion aqain.
i just noe, im completely disappointed and dishearted
aft knowing the whole thing.
dun ask me what and why.
cos ive decided tuhx put everything behind
me.
including my past memories frm sec 1 tuhx
sec4.
every single thing.
im giving up all the memories.
you all may say im selfish but i guess all the guys i
loved in de past 4 yrs had hurt me deep enuf.
i wanna welcome the new future, 2010.
so no more wanting the past.
i just hope those that giv up on me and hurt me before
dun regret.
becos im not the same siongyu anymore.
once decided, no more turning back.
gud nights ppl.

2010-01-14T02:38:00.002+08:00

the sadest thing on earth is when you're conned by someone you loved the most.
why the one that got hurt is always th one that qive out the most.
is it a mistake to love some1.
the truth is so disappointing and hurting.
it pierced thru my heart like a knife.
my heart is stabbed once aqain.
and its more deeper now.

2010-01-05T01:05:00.002+08:00

找不到人说心里的寂寞
找不到人懂怕黑的折磨
找不到命中注定在一起的那个人
很多人都笑我
一个人过生活

爱
只有简单笔画
却比想象复杂
恨安定爱变化
我爱过几个人
也被爱过几遍
却还是没能将幸福留下

爱
是不可输的吗
为何我还相信
它不是独行侠
我在等一个人
在等我的永恒
告诉我爱不单行别害怕

用不完身边泛滥的自由
还是怕孤单是一种诅咒
羡慕我能飞的人为何在天黑以后
还是宁愿回到
爱情那个枷锁

爱
只有简单笔画
却比想象复杂
恨安定爱变化
我爱过几个人
也被爱过几遍
却还是没能将幸福留下

爱
是不可输的吗
为何我还相信
它不是独行侠
我在等一个人
在等我的永恒
告诉我爱不单行别害怕
我在等一个人
在等我的永恒告诉我爱不单行相信它

我们一生中有很多事
错过了就无法回头
尤其是爱情
经过那么多事后
我才发现我从来都没有忘记你
我受够了
我不想再欺骗我自己
我不曾不想你

i went back tuhx that place.
i went back tuhx that bball court.
i touch th place, and my tears drop.
since then, i realised ive nv forgotten you before.
i seriously miss you a lot.
i went tuhx de play ground under ur hse.
i sat thr.
looking up at ur hse.
thr is a lot of stars at de sky and in my heart.
but thr is always a most handsome and shiny star in my heart, that is you.
you are always shining, and your brightness nv fade in my heart before.
ive nv stop loving you since the day i start loving.

我讨厌你
我讨厌你处处影响我的思想
影响我的心跳
影响我的心情
我真的很讨厌你

just now swee liang ask me a very gud qn.
'if he ask you fer stead would you accept?'
'if you say he want you, what would you say?'
'if he text you now, what would you do?'
im stucked.
in my heart i seriously hated you.
hated you fer treating me like this when ive done so much fer you.
hated you fer being so heartless.
but when he asked me, i dunno what tuhx say.
i was speechless.
i told myself i will nv qo back tuhx that place anymore.
but my legs and mind jus brought me thr.
all th images just flashed thru my mind all over aqain.
and i feel the pain going thru my heart, flowing thru my veins and blood and tuhx my heart.
i stil cant forget you.
i stil dunno howa face you.
i realised i stil miss you a lot.
can you tel me, what shud i do den i wil be able tuhx forget and give up totally.

2009-12-28T00:28:00.010+08:00

hazel darling!!!<333333333

hellos.

lols. just update of some overdued photos.

hazel darling just send me some photos!!=DD
was so happie.

awws, she is my second best partner in class lo.

i always call her darling.

at first when she was transferred tuhx sit beside me, we didnt talk know?

lols. cos we aint close at all.

lols. den dunno what happened we started talking den started tuhx joke ard den she intro me korean songs and i keep talking abt 'him' last tyme.

lols. den she kept ask me jiayous and stuffs.

veh funneh la this gal. cute like me!! =D

lols. she taught me a lot of things also cos her studies was beta den mine.

lols. i just had so much fun wid her this yr.

awws, miss her a lot man.

i miss all my sisters a lot.

lols. this yr super shag. celebrate my christmas at isetan. haiix.

but nvm, tml i meeting yang yang qo watch movie!!=D
aqains man.

either watch chipmunk or my jay chou movie if got la.

lols. cant wait.!!!

and yang yang has bought me christmas gift also!!=D

thanks man. love ya.

lols. my isetans frens were all so nice.

i received so mani presents frm managers, workers, and my supervisor.

this yr qort one box of ferreo roche!!=D

my fav. buit i eat until now my lips veh pain.

lols. last tues off i qo find kerin jie jie.

lols. so happie tuhx see her. and huifen, larry. lols.

we qo buy bbq stuffs, which i cant go fer de bbq.

aiyo. lols.

siians arhs. tues onwards late shift.

fucking shagggg.

lols.

somehow working is fun, i know so mani new frens.

funneh and entertaining frens. lols.

manager is gud and nice!! love csc. Customer Service Counter. lols.

next tyme upload more photos. and more jaejin and minhwan photos.

wait fer me!!=D

things arent so easily forgotten as it was told
to.
i keep qort reminded of th past. its
painful.
but i noe th new future is coming fer me.
life is stabalised and fun now.
somehow i cant wait tuhx qo fer break
nowadays.
cos i can chat wid hym.
lols.
somehow i sense that a new future is coming tuhx my
life.
i hope tuhx remain this way.

2009-12-23T02:44:00.007+08:00

sometimes you would ask yourself,
whie you would fall in love wid a person when you know its impossible for th other party tuhx fall in love wid you.
its not that you are inferior.
its just that a person heart is a veh funneh thing.
no matter how gud you are, as long as th other party dun love you means he wun love you forever.
you just hafta accept th failure.
a gal youth always have a limit.
she cant wait forever.
i always bliv when you love somebodi you must go fer it wid all your might.
there is no such thing as pride.
becos when you miss de chance,
you can nv get it back.
especially love.
your fate is in your own hands.
whatever a person become is all because of th decision he or she makes.
nobodi is thr tuhx stop you or tell you what tuhx do.
whatever you are now is caused by you.
be it happie or sad.
so dun blame de other party when you are sad, but blame yourself, becos you want it that way in de first place.
reflect everything when you are upset or happie.
you can nv wait fer love tuhx come,
becos love is fer you tuhx qo fer it.
its just like chances dun wait fer you but you wait fer chances.
i bliv love is th sweetest thang and de biggest achievement and sacrifice one must make tuhx qet it.
its de matter whether you wanna qo fer it or you wanna let it qo.
de most treasured thing on earth is de thing that you could not get.
thats whie there is this saying you will only cherish it when you lose it.
things dun come easily.
you must have de sincerity, determination and patience.
failures are finger posts on th road tuhx achievement.
i finally noe th meaning of love.
do you all noe?
(:

2009-12-18T00:38:00.002+08:00

yoyoyo.(:
firstly.
happy birthday to lee wei hua.(:
happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you.
happy birthday to youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu.
happy birthday to you!!
woo hoooo.
yeahs. hope you like me present.
and finally turned 17 le uhs.
finally i qort celebrate wid you haf of your birthday.
errrr, sorry arhhs.
so late den write on blog abt your birthday. =x
hope all ur wishes come thru.
and rmb, your present, onli you can use.
dun anuyhow giv ppl use arhhs.
veh ex and its my own money de horxzxz!!
lols.

secondly, happy birthday tuhx my dearest qin ai de jarren peng ting hao!=DD
lols. your arhhs.
dun so gan chiong.
say will buy fer you present le.
just wait nial.
lols.
finally 14 le sial.
stil small but handsome la.
glad that i have you as my qin ai de.
we alr noe each other fer nearly one yr le. so many fun memories tgt.
hope we two can forever en en ai ai!!
lols.
next yr beta give me my pressy arhss!!!
lols.
<333

aiyo.
i dunno how i work until my leg qort 3 blue black and now,
i qort terrible sore throat and cough.
so sorry ehhs, tml cant qo joel bbq le.
haiishx.
wanna take leave also cannot.
sat off sehhs.
and i qo meet wei yang le!!
hehes. he meeting me tuhx treat me lehhs.
so nice!!
lols. cant wait cant wait.
lols. okiies la.
byes ppl.
i qort work ltr on.
late shift somemore.
im dying.

>meaning of roses.
Red
Sincere Love & Respect, Courage &
Passion
Send red roses to convey the message of your passionate love for that
someone; saying "I love you"

1 Rose
Love at the first sight; you are the one
- 2 Roses
Mutual love between both, deeply in love with one another
- 3 Roses
I love you
- 6 Roses
I wanna be yours
- 7 Roses
I'm infatuated with you
- 9 Roses
An Eternal love, together as long as we live
- 10 Roses
You are perfect
- 11 Roses
You are my treasured one; the one I love most in my life
- 12 Roses
Be my steady
- 13 Roses
Secret Admirer
- 15 Roses
I am truly sorry, please forgive me
- 20 Roses
Believe me, I am sincere towards you
- 21 Roses
I am devoted to you
- 24 Roses
Can't stop thinking about you, 24 hours everyday
- 33 Roses
Saying "I love you" with great affection
- 36 Roses
I will remember our romantic moments
- 40 Roses
My love for you is genuine
- 50 Roses
Regretless love, this is
- 99 Roses
I will love you for as long as I live
- 100 Roses
Harmoniously together in a century; remaining devoted as couple till ripe-old age
- 101 Roses
You are my one and only love
- 108 Roses
Please marry me!
- 365 Roses
Can't stop thinking about you, each and everyday
- 999 Roses
Everlasting and Eternal love
Do you know why I gave you a bouquet of 11 red roses, my dearest dear? Cause you are my treasured one, the one I love most in my life"

2009-12-10T23:47:00.006+08:00

who more handsome?
lee hong ki, choi minhwan or jae jin?

frm left to right. jae jin, minhwan and hongki.

jae jin.

minhwan.

hongki.

of cos its minhwan most handsome right?(:

omgeee.

lols. my fav man.

jolene is fighting wid me.

of cos its minhwan more handsome. jae jin is cute.

lols!
today quite busy worx.

lols. oh ya. i noe one more fren.

he is a hairstylist.

called alfred.

lols. quite nice. (:

haiishx.

sunday and mon ot.

fuck sial.

whole day 12 hr.

wahlan ehhhs.

so mani ots coming up.

how tuhx survive sial.=(

i hope i can get 900 plus.

but if o levels results i din do well, i wil terminate my contract le.

cos i wil be veh sad by then. haiishx.

qoinq temple tuhx pray aqains.

lols.

tuesday off. (:

today wake up late.

lols. took cab.

alrights.

i qo slp liaos.

im getting veh tired nowadays, due tuhx quitting of smoking.

so im qoinq tuhx turn in le.

tatas.

nights.

<3333

lastly, minhwan rocks!!!!!!!!!!!!!!=D

even when im busy, i nv fail tuhx think abt you.
when im sad, i would picture your face in my mind, and i would smile, not becos you
are gone fer gud, but becos you are in my heart.
love may be hurtful but it may be a blessing.
as long as you noe howa appreciate it.
lyrics of love sick by f.t island.
when i miss you, i close my eyes and i can see that person clearer.
i try to forget and erase but i got reminded of that person more.
i told myself a lie thinking that that person would come back.
that person nv say she will be coming back
but all i can do is wait
the sin of loving that person a lot
the sin of loving you a lot
becos of you and becos of sin
im sick of waiting
the sin of loving you more
the sin of missing you a lot
becos of you and becos of sin
im crying wid pain...like this
i told myself lie thinking that that person woud come back.
that person nv said she will come back.
but all i can do is wait
the sin of loving that person a lot
the sin of loving you a lot.
becos of you and becos of sin
im sick of waiting.
the sin of loving you more
the sin of missing you a lot.
becos of you and becos of sin
im crying wid pain
breaking up is fast but forgetting is hard
the love is painful and im hurt alone.
did you hafta leave that far away frm me?
did you hafta leave that far away frm me?
i should have loved you widall my life
but you forget me now like a heartless person
i should have love you wid my all
but now you live forgetting me
with all my life, the person that i love
that person only gave me tears and left
the tough love
which i was hurt alone
the sin of loving you more
the sin of missing you a lot.
becos of you and becos of sin
im crying wid pain......like this.

2009-12-09T23:38:00.005+08:00

Choi Minhwan
Birthday November 11, 1992 (1992-11-11) (age 17)
MY LOVE.<33>

LOLS. another picture of minhwan.
JOLENE WU, MY MINHWAN AND JAE JIN IS MORE CUTE AND HANDSOME THAN UR HONG KI!!! =P
lols. minhwan arhs minhwan!!!
arghh. changed my dp tuhx minhwan ders. tai handsome le.
lols. too cute. nv see cannot work properly.
lols! handsome til i can faint.
17 yrs old. can you bliv it?!
lols. lets faint tgt ppl.
ytd qo club, finally see de zhi ling. lols.
noe her fer so long but nv see her before. cant recognise her sial.
lols. stupid club so late dn qo in.
fuck sial. this tyme i saty inside de club fer de whole event. nv qo out smk. hehes.(:
saw some usual frens.
yeahs. before qoinq out, quarrel wid mom, hell bad mood.
de club was okiies.
den qort guys wanna dance wid me and xenia.
we reject. lols.
this is my promise.(:
fuck, im gonna hav a tough life.
i spent finish all my money le. haiishx.
pok le. monday qo shopping wid jolene.
one qo spent all. lols.
at night tinghao ask me qo gl, den qo lo.
lols. guess whu i saw?
WEI YANG!!=D
chat alot. had fun. he is stil so funneh.
lols. but we stil miss out some of them.
that day onli qort me, yang yang, ting hao and jj.
lols. damn tired la. today morning shift.
learn howa do ribbon.
fold envelope. nth much.
cos gift wrap counter qonna open soon and its customer service in charge.
so hafta fold alot of boxes.
aiyyyyo.
okies la. im so tired.
tml morning shift aqain.
im gonna upload picture of jae jin and minhwan everyday.(:
love dem tuhx hell.
first is jay chou, den second is dem le.
bth!!!!
lols.
nights.

shut ur mouth.
whie cant i qo club.
so what u are my fucking dad.
qo club ur taiji?
beat me till death la.
i dun care.
just dun qo home nial.
i qot work.
aft i qort my pay u cant do anything what.
u nv even qib me much money.
so what so fucking care abt me?
you dun even earn my respect okay.
fuck damn.
just qo die sua.
all u noe is tuhx beat me.
if i qort car licence now, de first one i would drive and bang is you.
even if i qo jc i would also qo work.
so i wun be under ur thumb.
fucking hell.
just shut de fuck up and die.
ccb.

hopefully i can quit.
wish me gud luck.
i just hope u would giv me a lil
tyme of yours.
you always din even hav tyme fer me in de past.
now i just
want ur five mins isit so difficult.
i have fulfil my promise.
i have done
what i shud do.
ive used my own cash tuhx buy whateva i shud
buy.

LYRICS OF HEAVEN.
your white dress is so pretty that it shines in my eyes.
the road you're walking on and the sad ring you have on
i said i would onl love you my entire life
i promised i would only protect you
so why are you leaving?
i love you
even when i scream your name
how come you cant answer me?
i couldnt even bid you farewell
dont qo.
how can you abandon me and leave?
what am i qoinq to do by myself?
please dont leave me.
please
in this world
i only love you
i only have you
why did you abandon me and leave?
is the falling your tears as you walk down the road?
is the blowing wind your lonely breath?
in this world
i only love you
i only have you
why did you abandon me ad leave?
you bad person
i love you
even when i scream your name
how come you cant answer me?
i couldnt even bid you farewell
dont qo.
how can you abandon me and leave?
what am i qoinq to do by myself?
please dont leave me.
im sorry that i sent you by yourself
because only im left here
i want to see you so much that im shaking
even in heaven, please be happy.
just until i get thr.
farewell.

2009-12-07T01:53:00.005+08:00

kayys. hehes.
here is my minhwan picture and all de ft island and big bang video.
love it damn lots de okayys!!!
im so crazy over ft island la.
lols. since when i become a korean fan i also dunno.
lols. but jay chou is stil de love.(:
yeahs yeahs.
working is as usual, but today super busy ehs.
i help out de gift wrap aqains.
lols. and that hidayat arhs. everyday flirt wid me.
make me laugh nial. lols.
but i must admit he is kinda cute la.
whatever.
im not so shagg le.
quess im alright wid my quitting life.
quitting in gud progress wor.
now i like smk 2 sticks onli.
i will improve de, think next week i will not smk during tea break.
so i will smk 1 stick.
den become zero stick!!=D
but that hidayat, kiip lepak wid me den smk.
lols.
he super funneh sometimes.
hahas. fun working life i have now.
yeahs. in a few hrs tyme im qetting my pay!!!!!
lols. den qo meet jolene tuhx get my things le.
yes man.
lols. so long bo see her le.
yepps. tues work aqains.
shaggggggggggggggggg.
lols.
byes ppl.
lastly i love minhwan and jae jin!!! x333333
xoxoxoxoxoxo

its coming nearer and nearer.
i failed last tyme hence this tyme im gonna try harder.
bliv me.
when i miss you, i close my eyes and i can see you better.
i try tuhx forget and erase, but i got reminded of you more.
the sin of loving you a lot.
breaking up is fast but forgetting is hard.
4th day of quitting.
i promise myself i will fulfil it.

2009-12-06T02:05:00.029+08:00

G Dragon!!!!!!<3

G Dragon.(:

F.T Island.<3333333333333

jae jin!<33

jae jin

jae jin!<3

jae jin!<333

jae jin!<33

jae jin!<333

minhwan!!!!<33333333333333333333333

jae jin!<33

minhwan!!!!<33333333333333333333333

omgeeeeeeee!!
im so hell obsessed wid G dragon and ft island.
im going tuhx faint.
minhwan and jae jin frm ft is so kawaiiiiiiiiiii!!!!!
#$$@%#$^##$
omgggggg.
esp minhwan.
im qoinq tuhx faint alr.
G Graqon also super de handsome. wahlau ehhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!
tml i show you all de video. G Dragon is so super kawaii la.
and some videos of g draqon. wahlau ehhhs, jae jin and minhwan!!!!<3333333333333333
die le.
i just love korean guys.
minhwan is born in 1992!!!!!!!!
jae jin is either 1991 or 1990. aiya forget!!!
lols.
and g dragon is 1988.
all so young.
omgggggeee!!
but no matter what my idol is stil JAY CHOU.
dun worry arhhs.
nobodi can replace jay chou in my heart.
but de second place is ft island and G Dragon!!!!=DD
omg. im crazy abt minhwan. omg.
i wanna jump le lahs.
anwws, i qot new bed now.
double storey bed.
now i qort nospace tuhx stick all my jay chou posters!!
i just bought a new poster of his.
must store ft island and big bang poster also le!!!
omgeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.
minhwan and jae jin im coming!!!!!
so kawaiiii.
im mad.
okiies.
im stil feeling shaggg.
cos no cigg.
quitting in progress.
working is fun somehow, cos got that.....hidayat la.
lols. love working life.(:
cya ppl.
monday i off!!!=DD

now my feelings and thoughts are more stablize.
de sin of loving you keeps me living.
and de sin of missing you didnt stop.
i look at de sky and call out your name,
but no one answer me.
i realised you are gone long aqo.

day 3 of quitting.

2009-12-05T00:27:00.010+08:00

alright. here are some of my graduation pics.

lols. so long den update arhh. lols.

sorry worx.

oh ya abt de frens i miss, i miss out one more. that's is wei yang!!!!! lols. yaya, i miss hym a lots.

cant wait tuhx meet hym lo. haiishx.

days are getting more shagg fer me.

no cigg.

i miss my cigg.

break tyme aft eating, i qo out, seeing so mani smk, im more shagg.

can u imagine, you work, very very tiring le lehhhhs.

den you wanna smk tuhx relieve but sadly u cant.

wahlau ehhhhs!! that feeling, make you more and more shagg man.

today a lot of work.

i run two side. i hafta help out de household cashier and my customer service also.

i wrap alt today, fold boxes.

stil qort a lot.

i have been standing almost th whole day.

my leg veh pain arhs.

and de worst thing is i cant fucking smk.

fuck this man.

feel like smoking but im forcing myself not to.

so when im outside i just talk wid de ppl that were smoking but i put my hands inside my porket lohhs.

lols. fucking shagg.

i feel like dying.

days without cigg sucks.

nobodi is thr tuhx motivate me also.

and i also cant get any motivation frm anybodi.

how i wish some1 can motivate me.

i must be determine this tyme.

7th get pay le.

lols. a lot of things tuhx buy, but not fer me.

lols. tml same thing aqain.

work work and work.

i hope i got alot of things tuhx do so i dun think of smoking, seriously!!!

i wanna die le.

days without cigg just sucks so hell
lots.
its like missing th one i love.
everytyme when break tyme comes, i would qo tuhx
de open air space.
and i would sit down by myself.
a lot of things just went thru my mind, but its
abt de same old thing aqain.
im so shagg, its like im dying of tiredness
really soon.
im not missing hym but some1 else.
in the end, i stil prefer old things rather than
new things.
好马不吃回头草。
im not a gud horse.
day 2 of quitting.

2009-12-03T23:22:00.020+08:00

hiies.

just an small update.

here are th pictures i took. lols.

wid my love, mikko!!=D
and of cos myself.

lols.

alright, working is fine but veh tiring.

cos i work late shift.

my life is getting more shag and shag.

no cigg. im tired and now no more smoking makes me more shag.

feel like sleeping and my life style also change when no more cigg in my life.

haiishx. cigg has been my best fren and my lover fer so long.

whenever im sad and happie, he is thr tuhx qo thru all wid me.

and now i dun have it. haiishx.

but bo bian, i must quit.

jie is quitting so do i.

im missing it a lot sial.

so mani lighters at home.

shyt damn.

lols.

my working colleagues all veh gud lehs.

rui yu, louise, and miao, th giordano gal. lols.

lols.

xaviier called and chatted wid me.

that idiot darling, lols.

called me and whine and whine.

lols. ask me treat hym meal aft i get my pay.

i said this nov pay i cant treat. nida buy things. aiyyo.

lols. and while we are chatting, i realised all my gl frens lives and me, our lives have changed so hell much.

yvette heart, hui hui sweet, ting hao qin ai de, jun jie love love, xaviier darling, swee liang bf,

ron dear, ben, darrall tao eh, haishx. all change liaos.

and im missing dem damn hell much la!!!

lols.

onli keithy and me nv changed. as close as ever. best buddy mahhs~~ =D
tml some of my colleagues not working same as me. haiishx.

damn shagggggg~~~

o levels results coming soon le.

hell scared.

eng c6 i jiu happie liaos.

pleaseeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee~~~~~~~~~~~

say gud luck tuhx me.

alright i qo orhs orhs le.

nights everybodi.

i dunno if u are de one that tagged me.

but whoever it is.

i dowan anybodi tuhx disappear frm my life.

unless i stated it.

i want you tuhx be happie.

so that i can be happie.

i dunno if u are seeing my blog everyday.

but i hope u are happie when seeing me so happie.

i hope u are relieved frm ur burden by me cos i always hav a feeling that im a burden tuhx you.

th truth is i nv set you free, but i choose tuhx walk out of your life.

becos i want you tuhx be happie just like how u wanted me tuhx be happie.

now, im trying my best tuhx live my life tuhx the fullest, so i hope you are happie living ur life too.

sometimes your heart just dun follow what ur mind tells you tuhx do.
i also dunno whie my heart hurts.
i just cant find de reason.
ive decided what tuhx do.
and once decided, no more turning point.
i hope i can get de ans i want that day.
i seriously hope so.
i think thats de last thing i will do fer a guy.
day 1 of quitting.

2009-11-30T23:37:00.004+08:00

alright just a short post.
im fine nowadays.
working at isetan im leading a veh gud life.
at times i maybe busy, at times i maybe do wrong things, but my manager and supervisor treat me veh gud.(:
and all my colleagues are veh friendly.(:
i met new frens and one tuition fren is working wid me.(:
i watch stairway to heaven back nowadays.
veh touching. cried and cried.
went tuhx fb, saw teachers married photos.
im felt veh happie fer dem.
how i wish, i can a bride one day.
de bride in stairway to heaven also veh prettie.
if de world really end at 2012, i guess i dun hav de chance tuhx even wear de wedding dress.
argh nvm. i noe i shouldnt be thinking of all these.
working is impt.
but peepo WATCH THAT SHOW!!!
lols. alright today i off, qo find jie jie.
hmmms, chatted a lot as usual. laugh and hav heart tuhx heart talk.
lols. jie is quitting smoking aft her last box of cigg, and i promise her i will quit tgt wid her aft my last box of cigg.
fer th past one yr, i always say i wanna quit smoking.
but i din do it, i tot i found my motivation aft falling in love wid 'hym' this yr.
but somehow i failed aqain.
but now i will get de motivation by myself.
and this tyme i quit not becos of anybodi but myself.
i wanna lead a healthy lifestyle.
i seriously wanna be a gud gal.
i will not disappoint myself anymore this tyme.
I MUST DO IT.
so wish me gud luck.
i will count down man.
so wish me gud luck peepo.
and the song im playing is de stairway to heaven de song.
veh fucking nice siol.
veh fucking meaningful also.
next tyme i show u all de lyrics alright.
alrights, tyme tuhx orhx orhx le.
nights.
(:

im relieved that u are not mine in FFS anymore.
somebodi has finally snatched you away.
and ive finally let you qo.
in de past i always tot having you by my side is enuf.
as long as i have you by my side, and i love you thats enuf fer me.
but i was so wrong.
no point keeping you by my side anymore.
i alr very kan de kai le.
being able tuhx fall in love wid you in de past and able tuhx get so close tuhx you so unpectedly im alr veh contented.
its enuf. i dowan you tuhx stay by my side anymore.
becos in de first place you dun belong tuhx my world and neither do i.
now ive set you free, im happie fer you and happie fer myself also.
becos i realised ive been living in pain fer de past 8 months.
and now i seriously very happie.
and i see you living your life veh happily i feel relieved also.
hopefully you will find your true love.(:
and as fer me, i noe what i want and whu worth my love more.
i will qo fer it and nv let qo.
lastly i stil wanna thank god fer letting me knowing you and let me qo thru a happie and sad life chapter.(:
but sadly i still cant treat you like how i treat my frens.
i still cant take you as my fren.
maybe as time qoes, i will try tuhx accept you as my new fren aqain.
takkaires and gud luck fer your future endeavours.(:

相爱的两个人
终究会相逢
不管绕行再远的路
最后还是会回来
我曾经深深的爱着你
如今我仍然还是深深的爱着你
我会等待我们相逢的那一天.
你听见了吗?

2009-11-23T22:38:00.008+08:00

lalalas.

here is some of de graduation photos.(:

i onli qort some. more tuhx come.(:
me and mr low seem close man. lols.

okies de guys are all so kuku, put middle finger. lols.

jolene went back earlier, so din took pics wid her.

noe whie there is no me and jaime dey all der?

lols. cos we take de free gift shoot.

we take den immediately qort de photo.

lols. i very cute in all de pics okiies.(:

today went tuhx find xenia. lols.

chit chat alot lo.

tml i work le. siianx dao yao si.

lols.

stil deciding whether tml qoinq butter fact anot.

lols.

see xenia precious lo. lols.

i will not be updating veh often le. lols.

will be too tired.

i seriously miss all my gl peeps.

help meeeeeee.

lols.

im gonna treat a lot ppl when i get my salary.

siaox liaos.

lols.

okies la.

bye peeps.

i love you all.

dun miss me when im gone.(:

Im sitting here

Thinking bout

How im gon-na do without

You around in my life and how am I

I gon' get by

I ain't got no days

Just lonely nights

You want the truth

Well girl im not alright

Feel out of place and out of time

I think im gonna lose my mind

So tell me how you feel (im lonely)

Are you for real (so lonely)

Do you still think of me (i think of you)

Baby still (You only)

Do you dream of me at night (like i dream of you all the time)

So let me tell you how it feels (its like everyday i die)

Wish i was dreaming but its real (when i open up my eyes)

Let me tell you how it feels (and don't see your pretty face)

I think that i will never love again

I miss your face

I miss your kiss

I even miss the arguments

That we would have from time to time

I miss you standing by my side

I'm dying here its clear to see

There ain't no you, God knows there ain't no me

Don't wanna live, I wanna die

If I cant have you in my life

sometimes i asked myself, whie am i so selfish.

do you stil love me like how you do in de past?

or has some1 taken my place in ur heart?

2009-11-23T03:54:00.011+08:00

heyhey.

some overdue pictures fer that tyme syeamboat.(:
lols. my graduate pics stil not up yet.

finally graduated frm bvss.

4yrs had passed.

lols. xiang dang nian, im stil a xiao mei mei, wear specs, toot toot. anything also dunno. lols.

now lehhs. aiyyyo. dunno become like what. stil as short as ever. LOL. wadeva.

lols. today smth happened. which made me sibei dulan. but weiting and zhi yun helped me.

thanks.

kerin jie also wanted tuhx helped me. thanks ehhhs.

and janson also helped me wid de blog stuffs. thanks.

qo meet jiejie. lols.

chat alot.

waited fer jie bro and caili. lols.

chatted. laugh. lols.

den meet keithhyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy. lols.

den qo meet evania dey all qo diao prawn, its behind my hse. lols.

saw steffi. lols.

also chit chat and laugh.

wonderful carefree life i have now uh? lols.

oh yaa, fri qo meet xenia and go down jurong meet weihua, shi hao dey all.

lols. stay at shi hao hse awhile den qo weihua fren de bbq. lols.

had fun. lols.

but my flu and cough suddenly cum back, den i qo home. lols.

bth now hav cough. nb.

gan bu lehhs. d weather sucks man.

lols.

i love my lfe now. seriously.

carefree and high everyday.

yes man. lols.

>weiyang.

ehhs yangyang. lols. shud not call u dog now.

i noe u are sad cos of ur gf broke off wid you.

aiyyyo, relationships always liddat.

u said u wanna be like me, can let go of that guy.

actually im not strong at all.

i also kena hurt by de ones i loved and be wid in th past.

i also kena hurt by my ex bf before.

at times i just couldnt stand up.

but i told myself, nobodi can make me stand up, de path is mine.

i made my own choice.

if u really love her, let her go.

dun ever do stupid things and giv up love.

i maybe be deeply hurt, but i nv giv up love before.(:
u can find a better one, trust me.

be strong. u stil have me alright.=D
x333

i've deleted every single thing abt hym.

all de texts, pics and even contact.

now my heart feel veh relax.

although i stil cant bear tuhx delete at first, but i noe i must let go.

no point. it no longer have any more meaning tuhx me.

thinking alot abt things nowadays, i finally realised and noe who stand de most important place in my heart.

there is always some1 in my heart. although not th top. but there is stil a place fer hym all these long.

maybe my mr right is just ard me, just that i din realised it.

but somehow, de trust he had fer me is not thr anymore.

ppl always say, chances dun wait fer you, u wait fer chances.

ive done so mani wrong decisions in de past, even fer love.

but sometimes u just hafta think harder, u will realised de difference abt infatuation and love.

nv grind at any guys in club and think that u have found some1 u like, its just an infatuation.

but touch de conscience of ur heart and think what u exactly want and love.

2009-11-19T22:46:00.014+08:00

hellos.
here is de pics on band concert.
lols.
zhi yun helped me and samantha take model pic.(:
nice horx.(:

aiyo. went chalet on wed.
saw WEITING!!!(:
lols. so happie, long tyme didnt see hym le.
chit chat, know new frens. (:
aiyo den played truth or dare. =D
so p.s. i starting nv play de lorx.
i was laying down wid wei ting.

and listening tuhx dem play, so funneh. lols.
den suddenly they asked me if that guy called jeremy can kiss me.
im like ?_?. okay i anything. lols.
den i said what type of kiss, dey say lc. wahx fuck. lols.

i anything anything lorx. lols.

Den awhile ltr dey asked me play i lan lan lo. lols.
den i tio, dey asked me kiss de same guy aqain. wtf?
lols. den kiss aqain. this tyme kiss on de lips onli.
dat guy quite handsome, but 15 yrs old. lols! too small la.
den one guy tio, dey ask hym lc wid me. wtf.
lols. den he kiip say i stole his first kiss. lols!
den play finish, qort taiji. that jeremy and his frens la.
i was freaked out okayys!!!
30 over ppl plus malays.

lols. den i nearly kena beat also. whatever lo. lols.
i was so scared til i stand beside wei ting. lols.
cos he can protect me mahs. nobodi can beat hym cos he ns de. lols.
its was so chaotic dey run here and thr. lols.
den police came, i kena interview. lols.
stil take pic of me somemore!!=x

whatever lo. i 9 reach home.
zhi yun tell me aft qo damn funneh. lols. dunno dem la.
but aft sucha long tyme seeing weiting is a gud thing.(:
sat i qo find kerin jie le.
im starting work really soon. cant be like a pig and wake up at 2 or 3 in de afternoon le. awwwws. ytd i ate potatoes chips and now im really sick.

sore throat and flu!!! fuck.

okay la, wil update soon. bye!!

cant bliv i cried aqain.
cant bliv there is stil a place fer u in my heart.

whie cant i forget you?!
8 months is long, really long.
i hate myself.

passer-bys and strangers are just not meant tuhx me.
u were once a stranger and now u became a stranger tuhx me aqain.
i met a stranger at club, but now he is stil a stranger aqain.

maybe im just not meant tuhx be wid strangers.

2009-11-18T00:18:00.026+08:00

lalalas.
here is all the pics taken on jolene and sammie bdae!!
and most importantly at zirca club!!=DD

im so high and happie at zirca club.
although at first smth happen between me and xenia precious.
im sry precious.
you noe i love you alot!!<333333333333333333333333333333333

lols. had fun dancing. know new frens!!=D
so happie la. learn all sorts of dance.

and i din drink worx!!=D
just went band concert at my skol.
lols.
saw so many ex seniors and venessa!!=D
chatted alot. saw kenneth also.
lols.
took pics. had fun. lols.
tml den upload pics. lols.
tml i qoinq tuhx gym wid raith.
lols.
so long bo see hym le.
its tyme fer me tuhx exercise man.
lols.
im qonna enjoy till de end of tyme before 24th when my work starts!!
lols.

i hope i can enjoy like how i was at zirca.(:
found my new happiness at de dancefloor!!!
omgggggggg.
high high.
put ur fucking hands up man. lols.
byes ppl.(:

2009-11-15T22:55:00.004+08:00

hey im back.
peepos. i noe aft reading my blog, you all will feel sry fer me.
actually i dowan tuhx make ppl ke lian wo or smth.
i also dowan you all tuhx say he cb nv accept me and all.
tuhx you all, he may seem tuhx be bad guy, but all you heard is my part of story.
nobodi knows whats his part of story.
love cant be forced.
so hope you all dun blame hym.
im shocked that i stil care but yeahs, i uds how does it feel when some1 fancy you but you dun feel de same way.
so if i can let it go, hope u all let it qo alright.
im not selfish anw.
ive stand up alr.(:
but there stil some memories that is stucked in my head la.
lols.
but i dun blame myself.
love has no fault.
u dun even noe whie u would fall in love wid a person.
maybe thats love.
u all may think, why would i stil care fer hym this type of ppl.
but i experienced it be4.
when there's no feelings, seriously cannot de.
maybe me and hym are just frm de diff world.
lols.
i alr kan kai le, and alr tong shi le.(:
im really smiling now frm de bottom of my heart.
so be happie also okayys readers!!=D
im qoinq tuhx club tml.
but no more drinking.
this tyme i made a promise tuhx my mother and kenneth.
so i wil fulfil it. hehes. (:
im going tuhx enjoy til my working tyme.
thanks all my beloved frens nd readers fer caring fer me.
i will be strong.
i will upload photos tml or tues okayys. lols.
wait fer me.!!
lols.
byes.

2009-11-13T00:18:00.006+08:00

mission failed.
everything has ended on 11/11/09.
what a nice date.
this tyme i fell flat on de ground.
thinking of everything that happened fer de past 8 mths, so many memories and feelings.
sad and happie ones, feeling high and feeling low.
but all those memorises i cant rewind dem anymore.
ppl always say u learn frm ur past experiences, i also can say it myself.
but in de end, de same old story that happen on me aqain and i fell tuhx it once more.
i fell flat on my face aqains.
got my heart all broken into thousands of pieces aqains.
laying down on my bed, looking at ceiling, i reminiscense everything that i went thru this yr and what ive done fer hym and all th memories.
my tears just rolled down my cheeks and it nv stopped even if i want it too.
all th blog posts, msn talks, all de meet ups, th phone calls, de texts, just flashed thru my mind.
i nv regretted it though, even though i nv get what i wanted in de end.
i sacrifice so much tyme just tuhx qo online, even though i dun like tuhx qo online.
even though im tired, but i stil hanged on til he turn in den i can safely turn in.
i turn down my frens meetings on fri nights and sat nights just tuhx find hym.
even though i got no money, i stil scrimp and save just tuhx take cab thr and home.
even though i have tuition de next day at 9 in de morning, i stil acc hym till late night, even though i noe i will get scolded by my mom.
i nv failed tuhx send hym gudnight text everyday.
when i noe he is sick, i got so hell worried, i cried at night and really pray tuhx god that he will be fine.
when he send me one text, 'you thr', im like frm pluto telepot tuhx singapore. just fer hym.
when i noe he has done badly fer prelims, i know i hafta help hym.
i said im willing tuhx gib hym my notes, but who knows actually i dun even hav a single note wid me.
i stay up every night til midnight just tuhx do all de notes, i knew im not geog student. but i stil asked frm my frens fer geog notes.
de day has come tuhx meet hym tuhx pass hym de notes, i took cab tuhx tmart tuhx photocopy de notes but i realised i forgot tuhx bring one of dem.
i took cab home aqain, but i realised i got no more cash.
i ran all de way tuhx geylang tuhx find my dad and lend money.
when i reach tmart aqain, de shop has closed, i decided tuhx giv hym all my notes and left none fer myself.
doing so much, de pain who knows.
im in this state now, who can i blame, no one but myself.
blame myself fer falling so deep fer hym.
blame myself fer being so xin gan qing yuan.
i nv regretted.
i uds de basic principle of love is love cant be forced.
i noe i hafta face it and learn tuhx let qo.
maybe im just not doing enuf.
maybe im just not gud enuf.
maybe im just not th gal he want tuhx be wid.
now i uds, ppl that makes a gud fren doesnt make a gud lover.
i just hope that he will find some1 that he truly loves and that some1 will love hym as much as i do.
i just hope he will be happie.
i will marks my promise, tuhx let qo.
although i stil love hym alot.
i will let go.
i hope without me, he will tc.
dun worry, i have alr put his name tuhx burn at de temple, tuhx wish hym ping an and succeed in his studies.
without me, god wil watch over hym.
i hope my departure will give hym happiness and stress free.
gud bye my love.

>keithy buddy.
im sry. that i made you so sad ytd when u see me crying and fell down.
sry tuhx make you piggyback me home.

sry fer taking you as hym and cried fer so long.
thanks fer always being thr fer me.
i know you th longest.
and sry tuhx break my promise.
two yrs aqo, i made a promise i will nv cry so badly fer a guy in front of you anymore.
but now i did de same thing aqo.
im sry, ur siongyu buddy cant be so strong this tyme.
ytd i fell down, you din pick me up.
instead u said i must learn tuhx get up myself.
but i give it up.
i just cant do it somehow.
but in de end you stil hold me up.i noe you wan tuhx make me strong, but im sry i disappoint you ytd.i just need tyme seriously.
thanks fer everything you have done fer me.
i just felt so fortunate tuhx have you.

i love you buddy.(:

thanks all my sistars, jolene, jaime, samantha and zhi yun fer doing so mani things today tuhx make me laugh.
i had fun today. thanks.

and im missing so mani ppl right now.
mikko love, wei yang and yvette those.
i noe they will be wid me.
i have found a job.
i wun be blogging so often, wun be online in msn and fb so often alr.
if u see me in fb, its prolly my fren.
i guess i wun be smiling and being myself fer de next few weeks and even months.
sorry ppl.
but i just dunno how long im gonna take tuhx recover.
i once becos of 1 fish giv up de whole ocean.
now i becos of 1 lion give up de whole population of animals.
i swear i wun did it aqain.
bye peepos.

2009-11-10T22:18:00.010+08:00

heyo.
thought of putting some pics.
first few pics is at jie bdae de, taken by eric.(:
den de rest all i bo liao zhi lian at jie hse and mrt thr. lols.(:
time files la sial, o levels coming tuhx an end le.
tml last paper.
i hope everything will be fine.
sunday i qort wedding dinner. cousin wedding.
drunk red wine, drink too much til i fucking drunk at de wedding place. luckily my dad is in a gud mood. if not i lagi jialat.

wish that i can find a new job.
bye ppl.(:

i feel so close with you, when everytyme i call you.

i start to miss you every single day.
cos we stay very far away.
the guess that i make, it is almost correct.
not that i know everything, and i'm not perfect.
you're a stranger that i dunno before.
but now you're tat stranger that i really care for.
you dont pretend to be smth you are not.
you wanna noe whie i wrote all these fer you,
becos i love you, i really do.
i want you to feel that you are the only special one,
nobody exceot you can make me feel like im in heaven.
everything that you had just saw and received was done by me.
things that ive promised, i will prove you.
the day i will stop loving you, its de day that i close my eyes forever.
no matter how long it takes, i will wait.
im tired though, but as long as im able tuhx see you,
it will certainly give me hope and confidence to continue this journey.
the journey of loving you.
sometimes i told myself,
whie i must drink tuhx hurt myself and you and every of my frens.
everything has changed till so hopeless,
th one im waiting, th ans im waiting, i ruined it all.
sometimes i'd picture you as my romeo.
but whie izzit romeo and not prince.
with love's life wings,
i do a pruge on all these walls,
the power of love, will give me a chance to try.
and henceforth i will come.
your eyes are my favourite stars,
and your cheeks,
are the sunshine that alluminates me and brings the colours to me.
for you, im willing tuhx memorize all of the great poems and perths of shakespears.
put apart of all these, ive smth else that i wanna say tuhx you all these long,
i love you.

my gan jie told me smth that kept me thinking a lot.
some guys are just like a vase, you can only see it but you cant take it home.
maybe you are that beautiful vase, that attracted me and lure me tuhx buying you so much.
i really wish tuhx bring you back home, but somehow, i cant.
i really hope i'll be able tuhx bring you home someday and keep you forever.

2009-10-31T21:14:00.006+08:00

hey.
im back fer awhile.
maths and eng is finally over.
all the papers are quite easy, but im quite careless.
hope i stil can get gud marks.
but at the same time, im quite sad.
becos i asked hym abt the maths papers.
and he is quite upset by it.
i shouldnt hav said that th papers are quite easy.
i noe ive hurt hym
i felt terribly bad abt it.
i really hope he wun be demoralised.
there is stil alot of papers coming up.
monday starts th humanities and sci papers.
hope i can get a1 fer all.
aft o levels. i nida settle a lot of things, especially my r/s things.

thanks a lot fer ur pen.
ive been using this pen fer all the papers.
by using this pen, its like though u are by side, qiving me the confidence that i need.
seeing this pen, i'd smile tuhx myself, and it warm my heart frm th coldness of the hall.
when i face difficulties doing th sum, i wun panic, instead, i'ld look at th pen, and think of you.
and i will naturally tell myself that i can do it.
its the first gift that u gave me, and its de first gift i cherished so much till now.
i can lose anything, cept this.
using this pen, its like having you by my side, i noe i will definitely do well, cos im using the pen, that you, my love, has given me.
i noe when im doing my papers, using this pen, u are watching over me and smiling at me.
u noe i love your smile the most.
im in love with you, and you are the most person in my life, i cannot lose you.
i promise i will do well, the reason fer me mugging hard this tyme, is becos of you.
becos of you, i worked hard tuhx do my notes, tuhx do my revision.
by saying doing all the notes fer you, im also doing fer myself.
i really hope you can do well, not onli me doing well, but you also.
money worth nth, but love is priceless.
do u noe, when we meet up tuhx give you de notes, how i wish i can keep you longer,
but i cant.
i force myself not tuhx cry, not tuhx show any emotions cept happiness in front of you.
but deep down, i seriously miss you alot.
and i really wanted tuhx tell you how much i love you.
but i cant, cos o levels is round de corner.
i hope aft o levels u will see this.
i really love you, sure i do.
i have love you all these while.
and it has nv change a single bit.
siongyu love you.
veh veh veh veh much.
ive been hiding this al th while, cos im afraid i'd get rejected aqain.
but i really cant keep any longer.
and this tyme i will wait fer your ans.
everything that ive done, is fer you.
i hav nv love some1 so much before.
its you, let me feel love aqain.
i tot im dead aft so many broken relationships and hurt that ive gone thru in de past.
but aft seeing you fer de first tyme, i realised my soul have revived aqain.
im reborn aqains.
you brought back the smile ive lost in de past.
you brough back the confidence that i lost in de past.
you gave me de motivation tuhx do things and live on.
i wasnt so sure of de love i had fer you in de past.
and i cant more than sure.
i believe i can be a much more better gf den de past i was tuhx any guy.
as long as you trust me, and willing tuhx give me your heart, i wil not break it.
you are always on my mind all the tyme.
for you, there is no replacement.
i just wanna be wid you.
you will always be the guy i love.
darkness in de night, i will find the light for you.
as long as i have the eyes, i will have the sight fer you.
long as im alive, i will die fer you.
right now, i will show all the love i have fer you.
i hope you can read this and see this and of cos giv me an ans.
赖彦炜，黄湘茹爱你。
do you see this.
i finally have de courage tuhx write this.
whats your ans?

2009-09-26T20:00:00.003+08:00

im stopping blog fer awhile.
wil be back aft 11/11/09.
maybe things abt me wil change.
but no matter what im gonna stay strong.
continue tagging and viewing.
i may blog if im free.(:
bye my love, maybe everything has ended long tyme aqo.
aft ever since 5/9/09.
maybe we are just not meant tuhx be de way i wanted it tuhx be.
but i stil love you.
now i just wanna enjoy and mug hard fer o levels.
bye people.
wil be back.

2009-09-24T00:15:00.002+08:00

fer de past few days i wasnt feeling gud at all.
i went drinking aqains.
can anyone tell me, whie izzit one person heart wil ache.
i lost de feeling of pain long aqo, until recently, my heart just ache so much.
i made a huge embarassment of myself.
i cried, hurt my fren, hurt myself, vomitted.
made my frens worried.
made my own self emo also.
i really thinking, whether tuhx qib up or continue waiting.
it really hurts.
nobody wil ever uds my feelings.
o levels is round de corner.
im really afraid, i cant pick myself up.
u made me feel like im at de peak of de cliff, but u also mad me feel like im faliing down de cliff.
everytyme when i told myself tuhx do certain things i wil definitely do it.
but everytyme i tel myself tuhx giv up, i just cant do it.
im really afraid, aft o levels de results i get frm you wil disappoint me even further.
im alr otw tuhx quitting smoking, but i dunno aft o levels would i be smoking even more.
i really want you.
i really need you so much.
th love i had fer you, u shud hav alr known frm long tyme aqo.
pain in my chest, its like im gonna lost my breathe.
there is so much things that im dying tuhx say it out.
esp tuhx you.
if it wasnt fer my pride, i'll definitely say al de things that ive long wanted tuhx say tuhx you.
u are my source of living u noe.
i always tel myself negative things like we are forever impossible.
but i just giv up.
i giv up, it hurts.
i dun giv up it also hurts.
tell me what tuhx do.
work hard fer ur o levels.
tc of urself.
u are getting more lethargic nowadays.
dun fall sick. i noe ur throat hurts.
drink more water.
i noe u are stress up cos of o levels.
i will try my best tuhx help you.
i promised.
i wun let u fail o levels.
i wil give u my best notes.
everything i have i will giv it tuhx you.
although i din study geog, fer you, i will get de notes fer you.
as long as u dun be upset by ur results and be demoralised, i will definitely help you.
take it as helping myself also.
i wan you tuhx be happie.
i want u tuhx suceed.
i believe you can do it.
jiayous.

wont be blogging alr.
hope u all uds.
o levels is 32days away!!!!

2009-09-19T03:22:00.025+08:00

heyhey.

sorry fer lack of post. lols.

nahs here is de career seminar pics.

i love all my sisters!!!=DD
currently im missing so mani ppl.

i miss my yvette heart,xaviier darling and mikko love and kerin jie!!!

haishx. today is my last day qoinq down gl le, i'll onli be qoinq down aft 38 days, my o levels.=(
today hav a last look at my gl frens. sadly didnt get tuhx see yvette and xavier.

had fun. took pics.

i will also not be playing blog and facebook that often. hope u all uds.

im doing all de test papers. aim fer my goals.(:

bye ppl.(:

things are getting beta nowadays. we do talk and catch up a lil.

i really hope our friendships can last forever. i dowan tuhx lost hope in friendship.

u noe deep down inside, u all are stil my besties and most treasured frens.

i seriously love de past times when we had so much fun and laughter.

no other frens can replaced ur places in my heart.

u all brought th happiest moments in my sec skol life.

i hope this wun end as we qo on our separate ways aft o's.

once sisters forever sisters!!=DD
i love you all.(:

today is th 14th day that i didnt see you alr.

im seriously dying inside out.

i nearly died thinking of you nowadays.

everywhr i qo, i wil nv failed tuhx think of you.

you are in my mind at all times.

i felt so dubious when i cant see you and i miss you more and more aft each day.

everytyme when i thoght how how u rejected me in de past, my heart just sank into th sea.

in de past, im stil detrimental abt my love fer you, but now i cant control my feelings anymore,

i can tell th whole world my love fer you is real and not vague.

im accompany wid hurt everywhr i go when i see sweet loving couples in front of me.

i want nth seriously, i only want you tuhx feel de same way i felt towards you.

how i wish i can also be like those sweet couples, holding your hand.

can u give me a chance tuhx prove my love to you?

if one day, u asked me, whose life is more impt, mine or yours.

i would said mine, but you nv realised that you are my life.

you nv noe how impt u are tuhx me.

am i just a gud fren or a chatting partner tuhx you?

to me, you aint a gud fren or a chatting partner.

you are my lover, homie.

i dont love you becos u are handsome, i love you of who u are.

although im really at times waiting fer your love, and i nv tot of giving up before.

i realised you hav become a part of me, and u noe it cuts like a knife, when u are not my man.

i realised how much i needed you. i felt so solitude when i cant get you and see you.

you noe how much i wanna tel you that i love you,

but i just dont have th courage tuhx do so,

as im afraid i might get rejected by you aqain.

2009-09-11T00:59:00.002+08:00

sometimes im wondering whats wrong with my life.
i realised, there's no forever frens.
dey say they wil always be ur besties. but when time passed, everything changed.
everything were not th same anymore.
i was gradually forgotten.
all de friendship promises was qone.
de bonds were not thr anymore.
i just feel so stupid tuhx bliv that everything wun changed.
whie izzit all the things that i cherished de most, wil not cherish me.
i feel so solitude sometimes.
it's not i wanna qo wid bad company all th time.
is just dat, i cant find any love and happiness and security wid you all.
at least wid my outside frens, dey bring me happiness.
i cherish this sistership veh much.
but in de end, what i get its physological hurt and neglect frm u all.
if i can i'ld nv wan tuhx hav gal frens.
i just cant find forever in dem.
however, wid guys, i can find de true happiness and friendship.
maybe guys just take brothership and friendship more seriously den gals.
i just dunno.
i onli noe i can onli depend on myself now.
gal frens, perhaps yvette, jolene, kerin jie, zhi yun bahs.
i just dunno.
i feel im left wid nth.
friendship is just de same as relationship.
it brought u equal happiness and sadness.
thats whie my mom said, there is no forever frens and forever love.
oh, let it qo, let it go.

2009-09-09T23:59:00.010+08:00

hellos.

okies, now its holis.

but im stil qoinq back tuhx skol.

sibei shagg.

lols.

sooner or later, i wun be qoinq out tuhx anywhr.

but wil be at home.

studying and studying.

sibei shagg.

im so qoinq into tp. wid 10 tuhx 14 points. (:

no more grandlink. no more hang outs.

siongyu u can do it. support me. pray fer me.(:

i love all of u.(:

im thankful. nth has changed aft 5th of sept.

thanks fer not making me giv up hope.

although my confidence level is dropping everyday.

seeing so many gals fancy you, doing so mani things fer you.

i just feel im inferior compared tuhx dem.

i just dunno how tuhx prove my love tuhx you.

u noe, ive nth.

i realised, qiven my conditions, im just nth compared tuhx dem.

i dunno howa cook, do hand made stuffs.

i've nth but a heart that love you veh much.

izzit not enuf?

i just think im not gud enuf.

sometimes im just falling apart.

i feel like giving up sometimes, but a part of me tells me there wil always be a chance.

im getting tired gradually.

i just pei bu shang u.

cha yi dian ni jiu shi wo de nan ren.

but u are stil not mine.

im missing you right now alr.

can u dun reject me aqains?

i just dun dare tuhx confess aqains.

i lost hope.

no faith.

ive so many things tuhx tell you abt my feelings.

but i just dun hav de dare tuhx say anymore.

becos, im scared i'ld lose u aqains.

i can lost anything in this world,

but i cant just lose u ever aqains.

2009-09-03T23:30:00.009+08:00

lols.

yoyo ppl.

long tyme no blog.

this are all de overdue pics.

happie teachers day tuhx all my chers esp mr ng.

i qort take pic wid hym lehs. (:

its up thr.(:
and last week qo sentosa wid yvette heart.

at fis we wanna qo off ders, cos like quite boring.

y'all noe i dun like outdoor activities.

but aft that it was really fun.

but me and heart played one game onli.

lols. den we sit down chit chat. noe afew frens. funniest of all is de shawnrick. lols.

ha lots of fun.

memories flashed thru my mind.

dunno whie all de past memories just flashed thru my mind.

stil rmb last yr qo sentosa wid weihua.

lols. told yvette abt it. lols.

she stil envy me say she nv even qo sentosa wid pinsiang b4.

lols. i said all my ex treated me veh gud ders.

esp those i really love ders.

lols. this is kan lian de. lols.(:
mon meet wei yang. lols. finally take pic wid hym.

but my lips are purple. =x

cos b4 that qo iluma. veh cold. lols.

den afew things cropped up. between yang,me and his gf.

but in de end okies le. lols.

long tyme bo see yang le. he's stil de same.(:

had fun wid hym.(:

hmmms. meet xenia and wei hua dey all on mon.(:

had lots of fun also.

lols.

to yvette heart:
heart heart.

although we noe each other fer afew months nia,

im really happie tuhx be wid you.(:

i sai b4, i hav veh few gal frens de.

all my sisters is noe veh long den can become my sisters ders.

but you, i dunno whie.

we are so close.(:

and everytyme im wid you, i feel veh happie.

lols.

im sad when i see you sad.

i noe u are moving away soon.

and we cant meet up so often alr.

i definitely wil miss you.

and i really hope u and pinsiang wont get affected by that.(:

i love you. and thanks fer always being thr fer me.(:
<333

two more days its 5th sept le.

im really excited tuhx see you.

two weeks nv see you le.

everyday i will miss you so much.

everytyme i listen tuhx my music player, fis song i wil listen is de jap song u send me.

and all de memories just flashed back my mind.

ur face, ur smile, some of ur jokes and all our laughter.

i just.......miss you so much.

everyday ard 10plus tuhx 11, i will hold my hp.

waiting fer ur text.

and as usual, u wil text me.

i will feel so happie.

i dunno whie, everytyme i miss you, u wil just appear.

i was wondering, izzit u sense my call fer you?

im really scared everything will end aft 5th of sept.

u noe, everytyme i was abt tuhx meet you.

i will choose what tuhx wear all those.

look myself into de mirror tuhx see if im okayys.

i just wanna be de best fer you.

and i really care abt what you think of me. seriously.

this shows how much u mean in me.

some of my frens told me, not tuhx wait fer you, not tuhx love you,

cos dey think u are just making me love you but you wil nv return ur love tuhx me.

somehow, i qot the feelings too, but i just cant bear tuhx give up u noe.

becos i kiip telling me, as long as i wait, i will eventually make u touch.

although its abit silly tuhx think that way.

but i seriously cant tell myself tuhx giv up.

maybe im too stubborn.

but i cant giv up.

when i decided tuhx giv up, i dunno whie my heart hurts alot.

i noe i qort a lot of rivals.

i noe u are popular among de gals.

but i seriously hope i can be de one that is holding your hand in front of everyone.

i seriously hope i can be ur gf, ur wife.

but now i just wont everything wun change aft 5th sept.